JuMar Lives

2011-08-31T10:55:00.000-07:00

NEW BLOG THEME: Landon - Life Lessons

Just made it - under one year since my last post. So now that another year has past - a small semblance of my life has return back to the way it was. Vince and i have been talking and thinking about capturing our thoughts on your blog. so here is my attempt to do so.

What is this new blog theme - something along the lines of what we learn from landon and then another potential them is still baking. :)

So...today's topic...of the new theme of L3 (of course i would make the 3 a superscript but can't seem to figure out how do that): Lessening Distractions. Vince and I have been talking a lot about what child care situation Landon should be in. This in and of itself stems many specific topics for discussion. But today...it is Lessening Distractions.

As we consider what is the ideal place for Landon to spend most of his day at this age (which is 2 weeks shy of the big 2!)...one thing that we have received consul on and have been tossing around has been the idea of lessening distractions so we can learn and grow. We are in daycare situation where Landon is familiar and comfortable and is inspired and stimulated. Enter the potential new more school-like situation where the program is scheduled for before class session, class in the morning and then lunch and then nap, and the after nap care. We were faced with a very constant day - Landon being in one classroom/yard with the same kids and teachers for the day (of course little excursions around the school could be had) versus changing environments every 2 hours or so, with most kids and teachers leaving throughout the day while Landon would be---literally ---one of the last guys standing...

One of the points of discussion was the ideal developmental situation for a very-soon-to-be 2 year old. On the one hand, we were told that kids that age need consistency and not a lot of transition or change during the day. On the other hand, were were told kids are resilient, they will adapt and they will grow accustom to their situation and what comes of it.

ARGH! what should we do?! stay at the current daycare/school? or move to the new one? What would Landon want? what do we want? What is the best thing? is there a best thing? what is ideal?

In the end, we opted to keep Landon where he is...for a variety of reasons...one of which is our topic today which is: Lessening Distractions to optimize development. The lesson here is that why crowd Landon's little life with complications or things that would take away his ability to learn and develop? Of course, even in the distractions there is learning to be had. But the though materializes as: learn and develop or cope and adjust. What does Landon spend his time doing? If he is busy trying to cope with his new surrounding and the changing environment and people, does that get in the way of his learning a new skill or figuring out a new connection between things? As parents, what do we want to create for Landon? How best do we help him grow into the person he will be? are we tipping the scale in a negative way by introducing a significant change?

so many things to consider. But there is something to be said that if we create an environment for Landon that minimizes stress, change and the unknown, then he could focus more on learning new skills and trying new things and developing his brain. so by lessening distractions, we can optimize growth and development.

So doesn't this hold true as adults? we are inundated with technology and responsibilities and burdens that can hinder our ability to learn and grow - perhaps on occasion assist. But how often are we feeling like we are puled in so many directions and have so many demands on us that we can't do what we want...or what we need. Family obligations. Work obligations. stress . drama. No one needs stress or drama in their lives. So if we can lessen the distractions that cause us stress and drama, then would we fare better with growth and development too? i THINK so. i know for me that rings true. if i want to grow in my career, i have to be more efficient, cut out the noise and lessen the distractions so i can focus on learning new concepts and more skills. in personal life it's the same. less drama and stress would equal more time to focus on my life and relationships and how to make the deeper and better and more real. stupid blackberry or iPhone. the electronic work leash. that darn red blinking light.

it takes intention to constantly review our lives to see if the distractions are creeping into our lives to the point that we are not living or growing optimally. of course, to live and grow optimally differs from person to person. But i think the principle holds true - for my 2 year old and for me. Lessen one thing. and improve the other.

So thanks Landon. Thanks for helping me to learn that i need to be intentional about what impacts my life. That for me to keep growing and learning in life, I need to lessen the distractions to be able to focus on the growth and to be aware of learning new things.

2010-09-28T16:10:00.001-07:00

wow...it's been more than a year since i've posted. poor poor showing. well. someone named landon has been keeping me busy. will try to post more!

2009-09-09T23:08:00.000-07:00

Slides and Flip Flops

So i just revisited the blog...and was chuckling at my flat shoes entry. some of you may know...i'm pregnant...very pregnant! due anytime now. which is what prompted me to buy flat shoes.

the chuckle...well, can't really wear the flat shoes at all now! my feet and ankles seemed to have retained lots of fluid and are markedly swollen and puffy!!! to my great dismay, i looked at my feet and ankles one day a several weeks ago...dare I say even a few months ago...and noticed that my feet looked veeerrrrryyyyy different! It took me a little bit of time to register what was happening. And then the shock settled in. my feet were fat!!!!!!! i knew that my fingers were a bit swollen so my rings didn't fit...but they don't look puffy!! sadly, the feet and ankles....significantly different from their normal appearance. so no flat shoes for me even now. only slides and flip flops. and the slides, only the ones i had been wearing for a while now. new slides...feet don't fit.

*sigh*

i really really really really hope my feet and ankles return to normal. it's not like i can work out those areas or anything. :P

soon enough...baby time! :)

2009-05-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

the F-word

in our discovery of the wonderful programming on justin.tv, we have been sucked into a new (for us) Gordon Ramsey show called "the F-word." This appears to be one of his early shows. The show's premise....open a restaurant that served 50 ppl a set 3 course menu and invite a brigade (3-4) amateur cooking enthusiasts to work the kitchen to serve the ppl. The ppl, depending on whether they liked the food/service can opt to pay or not pay for each course. I believe at the end, the brigade with the highest number of ppl out of 150 that paid (3 x 50 dishes) get to come back...and do what, i don't know.

What makes the show more interesting is that other things are weaved into the program. Gordon will have a recipe show down with a friend or other chef where that guest makes their favorite/signature dish and Gordon makes his version and then there is a blind taste test and those 5 ppl choose which one they like better. Then there is also Gordon's reaching out to Londoners to help them get back into cooking and eating well (and fast too). Then there is also a thread of something he is doing usually with his family involved. The ones season we just saw involved his family raising pigs...for slaughter of course. By the way, he has a beautiful family!

Gordon does have a mouth on him, as does most of his friends...but for some reason, it sounds really nice with an European accent (British, Scottish, Welsh, Irish, French). Somehow the accent makes all the words sounds proper. It's pretty funny.

Anyhow, good show, lots of interesting recipes that I hope to get to try someday. How much to i like the show... :) last night..i was dreaming and ppl were all speaking with British accents. :) haha. no cussing though. I suppose i have the subconscious censor on in my brain.

Thanks Gordon for loads of fun and entertainment!!!

2009-05-04T15:12:00.000-07:00

Flat Shoes Debut

So today is the first day i have broken out the flat shoes. :) I have not worn flat shoes in a long time...mainly because flat shoes don't suit my body type. Though they sure seem to be more comfortable than my normal 3.5-4inch heels. But alas...for the next few months...or longer, i will have to adapt to the flat shoe style.

So I bought my shoes from zappos where i love their return policy and i wore them around the house a few nights to make sure they were comfortable and fit and i liked them. and they were comfortable. And then today! the flat shoe debut at work.

I had high hopes...but to my dismay...blsiters. :( and seeing as how I am normally sitting in front of the computer only really leaving to chat and go to the copy maching and the bathroom...i am so sad that my heels hurt. :( to the point where i put bandaids on my heels...but now wnat to just go barefoot because the are so not comfy anymore. sniff sniff..i will have to bandage my entire foot. and then the shoes won't fit.

I should also qualify today to say that i did walk around more so than the usual routes. I went to the copy center twice...then out to lunch. So sory feet and shoes! it may have been my too high expectations for these wonderful shoes.

i am hopeful thought that the first day is the hardest day and that my feet will grow accustom to the sensation and that the shoes will soften up a bit. :( because I do like them...even though they make me feel really short and I had to lower my chairsso my feets would reach the floor and I can be ergonmically correct (to be continued on a future posting).

wishing myself well for the hopes of conquering the flat shoe pain!

2009-05-02T18:50:00.000-07:00

is any one still out there? I have been away for a long time. part due to laziness. part due to feeling like i have nothing interesting to write about. but i am considering resuming a more regular writing attitude so hopefully you all are still out there. :) stay tuned...

fyi...i just discovered how great justin.tv can be so this will be an uphill battle.

2008-12-11T12:53:00.000-08:00

EUREKA! TV watching revelation

A little background before my Eureka! moment.

So V just broke the news that many shows are being canceled. I have no details other than some of the shows I watch are on the ax list. :(

Or most of you who don't know, V and me have been without cable or satellite tv now for about 2.5 years. fear not! thank God for the internet! we've been getting our tv fix from free online shows! yea!! so i've been able to keep up with some things...and long to be able to watch others.

In thinking about my tv watching habits, I've come to learn that...EUREKA! i like shows that come to some sort of conclusion at the end of an episode. Don't get me wrong...I do appreciate the series arches and being sucked into shows as a devoted watcher...but I think I get the most out of shows that conclude after the 45 minutes or so airtime. A perfect example...Law and Order (full episodes not available online - what's up with that?!?). You do get invested in the characters..which I like to do...but I can be confident that the crime, investigation, trial and verdict are all wrapped up neatly in the one episode. I do also appreciate the occasional cliff hanger to be continued next time and the thems that run over the whole season...but for me...the more drawn out it is...the less i will like the show.

Take Lost for example. Great character investing...exciting...heart-wrenching...but after so many years...I an waiting for some sort of conclusion. At least (don't read this sentence if you haven't watched last season!!) at the end of last season some of them were rescued. Voila! some sort of closure.

The current mystery of my tv watching practice. The Hills. WHY DO I WATCH THAT SHOW???!?!?!! NOTHING ever happens! i wast 20 minutes every week watching...when NOTHING EVER HAPPENS!!! what is wrong with me.

Anyhow...I best be getting back to work...but I wanted to share my Eureka! moment:

Thumbs up for shows that have some kind of closure at the end of the episode for satisfaction sake...but still allow for character development and series themes.

Thumbs down for shows that drrrraaaaaaaaaggg.

i heart tv.

2008-05-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

Top 10 List

Things you should look for so that you'll know it's time for me to call it a night
(in order of how much time I have left before it's all over)

10) I start talking a lot
9) I start laughing a lot
8) I start to stare at you when you talk to me
7) Someone says "I bet you can't drink that"
6) I say "I bet you can't drink that"
5) I say "I bet I can drink mine faster than you can drink yours"
4) I order a blue colored drink
3) I tell everyone I love them
2) I order a Greyhound
1) I haven't been seen for 15 minutes after I say I'm going to the bathroom

Note: it's really a steep downhill at #7

2008-05-06T00:04:00.001-07:00

How do we work???

Um...how are we supposed to get our work done when we have meetings scheduled from 8am-5pm with only a 45 minute lunch break?

*sigh* what have I gotten myself into? At least I don't have to bill. And have internet access at home. What did we do before internet access? crazy.

2008-04-17T12:44:00.000-07:00

AT&T did not make me "...a VERY SATISIFIED customer."

We tried to order cable TV and we ordered online expecting a charge for the monthly cable service, the monthly receiver fee, and then one time installation fee. Lo and behold! When the confirmation of the order came, there was also a monthly service and maintenance fee of $4. ok. i know that's not a lot of money and in the grand scheme or a year service will only amount to $48 or so... but it's the principle.

I called to ask them to waive the charge b/c it was not disclosed when I ordered it even though it appears on my order confirmation. I tried to explain to them that the confirmation did not accurately confirm what I ordered and that because they did not disclose the charge when I ordered, they should waive the charge.

After speaking to the customer service rep and then the escalation manager, they told me the best they could do for me is to credit me one month. My last ditched effort was to get on the phone with the manager and have her tell me that there was nothing she could do (now seemingly not even the lame one month credit). She could not readjust any charges in anyway and had the gall of challenging me that if I had known about the charge then would I have not ordered. I had to respond that it would have been considered, yet wasn't b/c I didn't know about it and that $48 to me was likely way more important than $48 to her company. She then added insult to injury by saying that they were now going to make sure the charge appears on their order form and pseudo-thanked me for bringing it to her attention so that future customers would not be misled.

we canceled the order. AT&T sux. So does manager Caroline Behemer. Or something like that.

2008-04-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

Return of the Blogging

After posting my tyraid re Gmail and quickly de-posting the entry after realizing on the morning of April 1 that I was a proven a fool...I return to blogging. and even despite my efforts to quickly hide my shame and humiliation...nevertheless, some of you saw the posting and I had no choice but to fess up and hang my head low. but in my defense, the posting was March 31...so technically for me it was not April Fool's Day yet.

Stupid jokes.

So I return with the question of... should I feel weird going to a birthday party for a 23yrd old turning 24 at a bar/club?? hmm...i don't feel like it's weird. but should people find out or figure out how old I am...will I become one of those..."over 30 year old losers that still go to the clubs" What comes around goes around...I should have been wiser when those thoughts ran through my head when I was but a young 23 year old. There's nothing wrong with someone in their 30s still going to the clubs!!!!

*sigh* the last time I went to a club with this type of crowd...i remember thinking..."i can't stop dancing and sit down! I have to dance the whole night or i'll look old!" haha. my shoes didn't help. they were cute as heck but of no help with the endurance dance-a-thon.

I miss the dancing in the dark USA days. ;P

I'll fool them all yet!!! watch out you youngsters! make way on the dance floor!

2008-03-04T10:08:00.000-08:00

Readership

YEA! Thanks both of you for reading my blog!! You know who you are. :) You have increased my readers almost 100%...for a grand total of FIVE readers!! (and that's not including me reading my own blog b/c counting me would be just sad)

Thanks to all you long time readers and first timers!

2008-02-28T21:58:00.000-08:00

Spaghetti Arms

So I survived my 2nd (first official) personal training session. whew!

I was dreading the PT session until the moment I arrived at the gym. Then I was determined. Determined not to look like an idiot. But after about 10 minutes...I just wanted to get through the hour session.

I do have to say that time does fly. Some of the workout was doable, not too taxing. Just had to figure out the right body position and movement. Then, some of them were the worst things ever. What were they...not surprisingly...push ups. OMG. My mind is so weak that I can only do one. My trainer made me do 7. OMG. I thought after 1, that would be it. Then she kept making me do them. Then I'm sure she saw my whole body once again start to shake. So she said "just 5 more"

Are you kidding me??? Man, my only thoughts were that my arms and chest totally hurt, i can't push back up, and i definitely don't want to smash my face down on the mat. I mean, it's hard enough to push yourself up and down. It's even hard to try to not shake all sorts of directions and still push yourself up and down. OMG. I thought that was the end of me.

But alas...I survived. hurray. a small low voice hurray.

and then surprisingly...two of the cool down stretches were quite taxing. i remember talking to the trainer about life and work and stuff while doing these stretches. And every time I would want to kick myself b/c I wanted her to say "ok switch" but then we kept talking about stuff and I thought my legs would fall off my body.

even in all my complaining...I have to say I'm quite surprised about my attitude for this. I don't like it. But I do like the learning portion of it. I know. weird. It's funny how I totally compensate for proper movement and alignment of my body. man. go your whole life compensating for proper movement.

Today...it hurt to put on a jacket. I hope my spaghetti arms go away by Saturday.

2008-02-18T22:56:00.001-08:00

The Shakes

So...I had my first personal training session today. Gone are my hopes for rock hard abs and a solid butt. Gone for now at least. My primary goal is strength training and conditioning. That concept applied to me equals: let's start using the the muscles in my body that I have but have never used.

:P

First off...I do really like my trainer. She is solid!! She's no Joyce...but she is solid. Fun too. ANd also knows how to crack the whip. She'd call me out when I was being half assed..and it was our first session. oh...goodie! i can't wait to hear what she will say when we're well into our training. But really, I do like that she doesn't let me get away with being half assed.

So back to using muscles that I've never really used before.. It is totally funny! and quite embarrassing and seriously makes me want to get better to avoid shame. I was doing this exercise...totally basic...and yet...I was shaking like I've never shaken before. All I had to do was sit on one of those balls...sit up straight, and then with my back straight and abs tight, lean back. While leaning back...all I had to do was rotate my at my waist so that my lower body didn't move and my upper body faced side to side. I did about two...and then my whole upper body was shaking almost uncontrollably!! I did the next 8 shaking all over the place trying not to roll off the ball. I was seriously in need to getting out of that position and then crawling under a rock. OMG. really. I was mortified that I was shaking so much. I wasn't even leaning back all that far. so lame. I felt like I was disappointing my trainer. She was real nice though. Telling me that I was doing a good job. I so want to believe her.

So until my next session...I'm going to try to work on getting stronger so I'm not a total moron. *sigh*. I never knew I had that many unused muscles before. I guess I'm pretty good at compensating.

This by far is not the only part of my body have have to work on. There are squats and balance too. *sigh* what did I get myself into? why is my body so complicated? *sigh* I can only hold on to the fact that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. Even if I can't control certain muscles when I want to....yet. :)

2008-02-17T23:33:00.000-08:00

How much is too much?

How much is too much to spend on shoes?? What if you really really love them?

*sigh* i love to buy shoes. but i don't buy that many. so maybe i can spend more? ok...it's just rationalizing spending an inappropriate amount. but i can say that i got them on sale. :) i can't wait to wear them. i need an occasion!!! or i guess i can wear them to work. but they aren't menat to be work shoes. i have those too. :)

I aw Gyra again. she has her belly button pierced. don't ask me how i know this. i was thinking that maybe her way of elliptical-ing is natural. i was even going to test it out. but then i saved myself from my own stupidity as i concluded that her way was not natural based on observing every other person not elliptical-ing that way.

My first personal training session is tomorrow. i'm kinda nervous and my body is already sore. i'm pretty weak minded. wish me luck!!

2008-02-13T21:01:00.000-08:00

New Secret Non-Friend.

So...I think my three best friends at work are no longer my friends. well...one...arrowhead was let go. IT guy, the project was nixed so he doesn't come around anymore. Facilities guy...he shows up sometimes, but not as often. hmmm...maybe the novelty of me has worn off.

So I am making a new secret non-friend. but this time...at the gym!! oh yeh. I joined a gym and i think i'm going to join the many masses who will take a shot with a personal trainer. anyhow, before i get to that...i'll tell you about my new secret friend.

She's a secret non-friend b/c she doesn't know she's my non-friend. she's a non-friend b/c i'm kinda too scared to make her a real friend. i spotted her at the gym the other day. She was on an elliptical. the elliptical was one of those that have handles. not the moving handles. anyhow...as i was running on the treadmill....she was elliptical-ing in front of me.

First thing I noticed...she had one of those lower back tattoos. that's cool enough. don't remember what it was. didn't look that closely. I'm sure it was cool. Second thing I noticed. coin slot. yep. you read it right. I kept thinking...isn't that kinda drafty?? don't you realize your crack is showing. but then...that wasn't even the last thing about her. the weirdest part...was the way she was elliptical-ing!! it wasn't a normal natural way of elliptical-ing. Strange. There was something strange about her movement. It was like a gyrating motion. she seemed to swing her pelvis out and around with every stride she took. I kept thinking...is that normal? maybe that's what happens when you elliptical?? but then my sanity came back. I've been on an elliptical. There's NO WAY that your pelvis needs to move like that. and plus...no one else in the gym who uses that same machine moves their pelvis like that.

gross. this is why she is my secret non-friend. her name is Gyra. I saw Gyra yesterday at the gym too. Sans crack but full gyration.

So just to let you know...I've found myself a personal trainer at the gym. I'm thinking...10 sessions. 5 weeks. who know what might happen!! I'll keep you updated! hopefully my fingers won't be too sore to type.

2008-02-07T22:56:00.000-08:00

Lame Quote #1 by me

while watching season 4 of 24:

me: "Why is Jack Bauer running with a board?"
hubby: "That's not a board, it's a rifle case."

me: "...(pause)...oh."

2008-02-07T22:44:00.001-08:00

Oh Man.

Sorry. Has it been that long? wow. it's almost like nothing has been happening in my life to warrant updating the blog. but i suppose I can always find something to ramble on about.

since my life is a lot work i guess i can give an update about that. let's see....arrowhead is gone. i think i said that already. i tried calling his cell phone. but i think it was the company cell phone. sure, there are other ways to get in touch with him in this digital age. but now.....too much time has passed. sad. i'm not so good with the personal skills in the workplace.

i sometime worry about job security. but today...i think i have a fair basis to believe that there will be enough work to go around for me. if i know how to do it. one of my colleagues i having a baby!! yeah!! well...lots of my colleague are. but this one in particular is in my same group. so if i can learn what she does, then perhaps i can cover for her while she is gone. hmm...let's see...learn what i'm supposed to be doing AND what someone else has been doing. looks like i need to turn the dial to 11. it's kind of exhilarating to think ahead for the next year and to want to push myself to doing more, learning faster and tackling the bull by its horns!! yee-haw!!!

but then it's also nice to think about vacationing in hawaii.

hmm..my life is sort of boring. and i think we have to move. to me it's just wrong to know that we now have to pay $300 more to live in the same apartment. *sigh* time to pack up!

2007-12-12T23:21:00.000-08:00

Business in the front...

So it dawned on me (even though vince says it to me all the time) that I tend not to think beyond what is in front of me. What?! I know. How can that be?! But I have finally admitted that I do not think about the business of working in a corporation. The politics...the strategy...the planning. All the stuff that goes on all the time, other than the day to day job you are doing. I mean, people are posturing, setting up, being all tricky. And there I am la-di-da-di-da-ing in my little cube. I pay far too much attention to my actual job than to working. Strange I know. I wish I was a just out of college person. Give me a dose of real life experience please.

So...from now on, there will be a little bit of the "business in the front" thought going on. planning for my career path. Reading between the lines. And of course, keeping up with the day to day. *sigh* working is now harder.

2007-11-24T15:23:00.000-08:00

Happy post Thanksgiving!

Spent Thanksgiving in Vegas with the parentals (Lin) and brother Greg. Interesting. My first holiday in Vegas. We arrive Tuesday night and planned to leave Friday so as to avoid the super expensive hotel pricing.

Fun times. Vegas was super empty when we arrived. Seemed quite surreal. And I actually liked it! not crowds. No lines. awesome!! but yes...not as much energy.

Didn't do much. i have to admit that my "vegas vacationing" style has altered from my youth. Gone are the times of hotel/club hopping, loose gambling and late night into early morning drinking (wait! did those times ever happen?). Sign me up for the one stop shop. nice hotel, gambling/spa downstairs, great club and shopping inside. we spent a lot of time walking around to our destination and not as much time at the destination.

We went to visit the Wynn hotel. The buffet was really great! great tasting. good times for thanskgiving dinner. but other than that, the hotel was a bit of a mystery for me. Sure it was new and nice...but i had trouble figuring out the overall theme of the hotel. I'd definitely go there to eat...but my hotel of choice is still Bellagio. oh...the wonderful soothing fountain show. and the beautiful conservatory and gallery. Oh.. and you can't beat the celebrity (poker) sightings. Gus Hansen sure seems taller on tv. Johnny Chan...looks exactly the same in person and on tv.

it's good to be home.

2007-11-12T22:30:00.000-08:00

bah bah baaaaahhhhhh!

after sometime now...Arrowhead is gone.

:(

it was actually sad. He is no longer working with me. I thought things were getting better. But apparently I was incorrect. I hadn't had much interaction with him since my last post. but it was seemingly just because there was just no project to work on together. But I guess I was wrong.

So it's sad because I thought there was more I could do. Or at least more effort that I could have tried. Maybe I could have talked to him more directly. Maybe I could have been more compassionate. Either way, the saga is over. I know now (thanks to Vince!) that there could have been more that I could have said or done. Now that there is no more time to do anything. I do wish Arrowhead well. Really. I do.

2007-10-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

Arrowhead update:

So...after my talk with Arrowhead. I was pretty optimistic. and then i got a message saying people in his group were seeing improvement. so i was even more optimistic!!

*sigh* alas...i fear that i am wrong yet again.

thought i told him, in no uncertain terms: "I need you to do _____." "I have been expecting ____ from you, is that not correct? Should I not be expecting ____ from you?" (please forgive the blanks. I'm trying to maintain some respect for Arrowhead)

Lo and behold...not so much than 2 weeks passes that Arrowhead is back to his same old pattern. He asks me to do ____. He asks my colleagues to do _____. i don't get it! does he not want to do it because he doesn't know how? if so, then say so and then we can help or go from there. everything seems to point to he does not choose to do ____. whether it is b/c he doesn't know how or doesn't want to, he just chooses not to. *sigh* what are going to do with him??

my colleague met him. and i try not to think it's my influence, but she thinking he's creepy. i don't think he's creepy. i just think he's a bit odd.

anyhow, i haven't seen improvement. i haven't seen anything. so if seeing nothing = improvement...then there it is!! ok. sorry. i just think that when people expect to see something of him, he just doesn't show anything so it looks like improvement b/c it's not anything else. i have come to the point where i have to actively jot down notes of our interactions and how I see his interactions so that I can think about whether there is improvement. *sigh* that was not a part of my job description.

one thing that bugged...we are working on this project and for the longest time it was the kind that "should be done as soon as possible." somehow, it turned into "should get done before the end of September." to that end, Arrowhead was calling all these meetings and making a big uproar about getting people together and getting things done. when it wasn't looking to be done by then, i thought, what happened in the last two weeks that brought to this "hair on fire situation" and so I Arrowhead why the end of September deadline as opposed to as soon as possible. of course, and this is what bugged...there was no reason for the end of September deadline. at least no reason that Arrowhead shared with me. so why the push on everyone including me, my colleagues, my managers, and other people's managers?

then later i learned that Arrowhead might be working on some sort of quota system.

i'm not liking the slick things that i learn about Arrowhead. he says one thing. but there's a whole story behind what he says that he doesn't let people know. tricky slicky.

2007-10-07T20:15:00.001-07:00

ok! It's been too long since I've written. Lots and lots have happened.

my friends anne and john had baby #2!! yea!! congrats. I can't wait to see them and little new max.

vince got to go to NY for work. he does not heart NY. but i think that may be because it was work. i for sure heart NY!!! even though i haven't been there lately. seems like it will take a small fortune to go there are really enjoy the things of NY.

So while vince was in NY. i took an impromptu trip down to LA. fun! i seriously kept thinking "I will not drive down to LA like a madwoman. I am in no rush. I will not drive down to LA like a madwoman." well. didn't work. once i hit the 5 freeway...helllllooooo madwoman. i can't help it. so then on the way back up...I kept reminding myself: "I will not drive like a madwoman back to the Bay Area." of course. my wishful thinking never prevails. I think I must convince myself next time that i HAVE to be safer. and be nicer to my little car.

LA was fun! got to see my family: mom, dad, bro, sis-in-law, nephew, niece, and little nephew. I hadn't seen little nephew in a while. cute as a baby could be. little smileys. apparently equipped with a death grip. my friend tina brought her little guy over and though he is about 1 month younger, got an early lesson of older bullies. somehow mason (my little nephew) and bryson (tina's son) got to holding hands. and then a few second later, brsyon starts crying! nothing changed. no one changed positions. mason was just holding his hand. with his death grip. sorry bryson!!!

fun part was watching a gazillion little kids play soccer. soo funny. some little kids were actually pretty skillful. but for the most part. it was a group of 8 little boys trying to kick the ball in a certain direction.

other things...hmmm...to recap...dinner with friends, wedding and work. doesn't seem like a lot. but it somehow jam packed our last two weekends! this weekend...shopping! no luck. and relaxing. lots of luck.

tune in next week as vince and i meet up and spend the day with our very own personal shopper!! should i be scared that i told her I'm looking for a new wardrobe and i'm pretty open? yikes. maybe just my wallet should be scared!

2007-09-19T20:33:00.000-07:00

Work work work...

Seems like these days all i do is work. Not that I'm complaining. Just an observation. Get up. get ready for work. go to work. go eat dinner, maybe go work out. then go home and log in and do more work. then go to sleep. geez. I hope I get a raise. and i don't think a pda for work will help the cause either.

So I had another talk with Arrowhead. I think this one is the winner! I tried to be very clear and say things like: "i don't think we are on the same page as to what it is we expect out of each other." and "I expect you to do this, is that wrong, should I not expect that? do you not know that i expect that?" and then even went as far as to say "I want to see this from you and I haven't been seeing it." of course, i think arrowhead got a little defensive. but all in all it was a fine conversation and I'm hopeful things will change. Not withstanding the several people before me who were probably not as nice about it and much more direct who tried to talk to him about the very same thing, and things have yet to change. *sigh* why do i think i have the magic touch?

but i'm forever hopeful.

fall is coming. the weather is colder and much more windy.

2007-09-09T20:25:00.000-07:00

Happy post-Labor Day weekend!
Silly me for thinking during the weekend that it was really long. Come Tuesday morning I kept wishing that it was still the weekend! *sigh*
In between the long working sessions, Vince and I got to head down to Santa Cruz for a spell. My first time at the Boardwalk! Out under the sun. Where we had some fun. The Boardwalk.

It was hot hot hot!!! The place was filled with beautiful colors!!! Although we didn't avail ourselves of the games or food, the booths were quite attractive.

And don't think that we were the only ones there! there were tons of people! Though it was quite tempting to go into the water given the heat, I was reminded that the water there was not as pristine as could be. And, given that I'm from CA and had the privilege of growing up in SoCal about 15 minutes away from the beach, I didn't think I was going to be missing anything.

Our highlight of the day came when we were hanging around some sea lion who were basking away in the sun on a small little floating dock. Most of the time they just relaxed. All hanging around, laying on top of each other. Soo cute! Some of them would stir and move around. There was a little baby one that was so close to the edge and kept getting almost pushed off. All in all, they would stay in their same position with eyes closed. Then... lo and behold! a pelican landed on the one edge of the dock! It was quite an alarming session and the sea lions did not really welcome the intrusion. As you can see, little baby sea lion is not quite oriented. Good thing there are plenty of adults around. and invaded their peaceful slumber! Well, the sea lions did not really like it. And when they were shooed off the dock by a man (booo!) this one showed us how she really felt about the pelican! She was just floating along, swimming around and then out of nowhere... Isn't this one of the most awesome pictures ever! Such natural action! Thanks and Great photography skills Vince!!

What a fun short day. I can see why people like the Boardwalk. It's out in the sun. It's fun. It's the Boardwalk. And I can't believe we actually heard and saw people eating this:

2007-09-05T23:44:00.000-07:00

SATC

On another note...this thought just popped into my mind... I actually am looking forward to the Sex and the City movie!! Not that i'll go watch it...maybe. But i'm very curious to know what the plot will be.

I have mixed feeling. Are they going to pick up right where they left off? that seems to boring. They are no longer "single" gals and definitely are a few years older. So i am quite curious. I hope the movie doesn't suck and then taint the feeling towards the series b/c I actually thought the series was well done and wrapped up quite nicely, and very happily.

Hmmm...we'll see...

2007-09-05T23:36:00.000-07:00

I fail to understand...

Arrowhead doesn't get it! Our talk today, I thought, was quite productive. We got through the materials we needed to get through, albeit, I'm sure not in the great detail he wanted but certainly more to my liking. I have no problem giving guidance and doing some of the work when necessary. but it seemed like it was not necessary to do all of the work. In any event, I thought the conversation went well when I released some of his binds and said things like: you can do it, use your judgment, you create something and then send it to me to review.

THEN!! I can't believe it! I get an email on this very day saying: "Have situation A. Need you to help create, when next week can we discuss?"

ARGH! I suppose I am being ultra ineffective in my efforts. How can I say: "I cannot hand hold you" or "I cannot do your work for you" or "I cannot do your work with you" without seeming like i'm a crazy bitch or at the very least, non supportive. *sigh* i hope my response to that email can make him get it. all I want to say is "you do the work, you give it to me for review." how come he still thinks that he can "set up a meeting to discuss" when I have nothing to discuss because I have nothing to review and don't know what is going on?

I can only blame myself. I must not be a good communicator.

2007-09-04T23:30:00.001-07:00

Visits

How surprising! I got visits from two of my new best friends today! So unexpected. They just...popped in.

Facilities guy came to visit me today. He's very nice. Always carrying some sort of folder with papers and all. He has really only come by to visit me to give me an update as to what he is doing on a particular deal and then to give me a heads up as to what to expect. Pretty cool. I do appreciate that. I feel bad because I don't know his last name. :( I'll try to sneak a peak at his badge the next time he comes. Or all he has to do is email me. which he hasn't yet b/c he opts for the pop in.

IT guy came to visit me. I feared that I would be losing him as a BFF as the project he was supporting me on was nixed and is no more. But hope is revived!! He popped in and talked with me about nothing in particular. Except how his work went on a past project that had a similar fate to the one we were working on together. We will of course have to find other things to talk about after we've exhausted talking about our no longer live project. Also, my cube neighbor also on IT guy's BFF list, is leaving in a few weeks to go work somewhere else. :( I wonder if IT guy will come visit knowing that she is not here anymore. I did not have the heart to tell him that she was leaving. I hope he doesn't get mad when he finds out. :O He won't. IT guys is like Mr. Cool. Nothing seems to phase him.

corporate politics alert!! I will be trying to have a conversation with Arrowhead tomorrow about our working relationship. :S I hate feeling like I'm doing his work! But then again, the question is, am I? Or maybe it's more I wouldn't mind doing what I would do, maybe just after he tried to put in some effort. My example, I told him that he had choice 1 (yellow) or choice 2 (green) and that he would have to choose which one to use. In the end, he sends it back to me for my input while leaving both choices 1 or 2 to select and did not color them yellow or green. *sigh* not only did he not choose, he even seemed to forget that I made them yellow and green so that it could be easier to know what belonged to whatever he was supposed to choose.

I declined a meeting invite he sent. sad b/c it was just for me. I hope I wasn't too rude in my decline. But we have to work out a better relationship here. we'll see what happens! wish me luck!

2007-08-28T23:51:00.000-07:00

Lunar Eclipse

Wow. I can't believe I stayed up for this. Okay. I didn't really stay up. I went to sleep at 11pm and woke up at 2:15am. Thereafter I got ready and went downstairs outside my apartment at got ready to take pictures. Granted, I wish I had a tripod and a bigger lens...but I am glad to have gotten to see the beauty and majesty of the lunar eclipse. Even it it happens quite a lot of times. But from what I read, not so common is the total eclipse. Enjoy!

1st shot at 2:40am
subsequent shot at 2:54am:
at 3:15am:
at 3:33am:
at 3:49am:
at 3:59am:
last shot at 4:02am:
although it would have been awesome to see the moon cycle back to full, I just had to go to sleep.

2007-08-28T23:50:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday Sharon!!

YEA!! I hope you have been having a wonderful time celebrating! I don't know how you do it but you have to teach me how you seem to be more graceful and appear more youthful as time goes on. Nice tan too!

2007-08-16T23:51:00.001-07:00

Performance Goals

So I'm new to this concept. At my old workplace, there was no formal review period. no setting of goals. things were from the hip and it was alright with me.

Now, working for the Company, it's all about performance, goals and action items.

:)

This place I work is such a interesting social experiment for me! The newest thing to analyze...

Performance and goal setting!

What goals should I set for myself? Do I set low goals so it'll be certain that I can meet and exceed them? Will my manager know I'm low balling the goals and ding me for that? should I be aggressive and set lofty goals and bank on effort being seen rather than results? of course, in a perfect world, i'd set lofty goals and reach them!! but for now, i have no goals. for i joined the Company mid-review period and was told not to set back goals for the 2 months I was working.

will i get a raise? we'll see!!

oh...and the latest on Arrowhead...i met the nicest lady today that, from day 1, has had a terrible time working with Arrowhead. I can confirm now...that it really is him. I thought, maybe some of use are too critical and too bossy or whatever. but this lady was super nice. right off the bat. and for her to have a problem. *sigh*

2007-08-14T21:38:00.000-07:00

Evaluations

So I'm now worried about the fate of Arrowhead. Apparently, he's been having some problems dealing with people in the past. It' snot that he's a terrible guy. But it seems that he not quite as effective as he should be and may in fact drag people down with him.

I never really thought about him and his work and its effect on others. but today, a colleague was doing an impromptu review and now i feel bad for him. he has all the best intentions. but for some reason, he cannot turn those intentions into product. my colleague asked me if he had given me some product that he created and worked on. and i can't say that he had. :( i'm racking my brain to think of the positives. not that he has that many negatives. it's just that they sort of overshadow his positives.

it's weird. not until today have i ever really thought about the work performance of someone that i work with. i hate that it's not a great impression. and now i'm worried about Arrowhead. I wish I could help him. i'll try to. i'd appreciate any ideas to help. Or maybe I shouldn't help. Maybe I should just let things happen as they may? oh...these are the days of my life...

2007-08-13T17:46:00.000-07:00

New best friend #4

I can't believe I forgot about new best friend #4!! I'm going to call him Arrowhead, for he is deserving of name and I have a bottle of Arrowhead water on my desk and I can't think of anything else right now. You can feel free to suggest some new names as we get to know Arrowhead better.

Arrowhead calls me about 3 times a week and then sends me about 5-7 emails a day on average. Of course, they are not all to me only, but there I am. On all these emails. when sometimes, they don't even concern me. I do appreciate being kept in the loop, but i keep trying to find a way not to unnecessarily bombard someone's email, and I wish Arrowhead could do the same.

It's good though because at least the emails are all work related. It was funny one time as he called me one day, and I didn't pick up the phone. yes. i was screening. and then two seconds after the phone stopped ringing, I got an email that simply said:

"Are you there?"

I was. But to him I wasn't.

In any event, Arrowhead and I get along well. It's not that bad. mostly just funny. But sometimes, I think he just calls me so that he can tell me what he thinks and then sees if I think like he does and then get me on his side so he can turn it around to someone else and say that there is consensus for what he thinks. Okay, that didn't happen to me but to my colleague and so I'm wary of his motivation for calling. It's not as simple as just an exchange of information. Welcome to the world of corporate politics!

I like Arrowhead. Except for the times when i think he's trying to get me to do his work. me don't like that so much. We'll see what happens with Arrowhead. Maybe he'll chill out a little.

2007-08-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

My New Best Friends

So in the past several weeks, I made a couple of new best friends. :)

#1 - IT guy - I have new best IT guy friend. he comes to visit me in my cube every so often for no reason at all. sometimes there is a reason. most of the time it is just to say hi. it's a little weird b/c we don't really have anything to talk about other than the project we are both on. But sadly, that project has now been scraped for the time being and I wonder if new best friend #1 will no longer visit me. hmmm...that might be alright. but it's always good to know someone in IT.

#2 - Facilities guy - I met this new best friend only last week and he has come to visit me twice and talk to me about our upcoming dealings with each other. It's cool. He's a little bit easier to talk to than best friend #1 (probably due to my lameness in the IT sector) but still...I don't really know what he's talking about. I do appreciate the heads up, though. And he's the type of guy I could see having a beer with. with a group of people of course.

#3 - Wikipedia - my bestest of all new best friends. Wiki has helped me understand what people say and write to me. I can't tell you how many acronyms have been thrown at me. I have come to rely a lot on Wiki for helping me speak a tiny bit intelligently. I see us having a long lasting relationship. no beers for me and Wiki though.

I do anticipate having more new best friends in the future. It's a big company.

2007-07-26T20:33:00.000-07:00

AWESOME! It's sooo close to where we live!!!

mmm....donuts....

There's a disclaimer that says the contents on the box cover are not representative of what is inside the box:

Thank you come again!

2007-07-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

Gainful employment!!

Hurray!! The drought has finally been lifted!!! It is truly a work orchestrated by God that brought me to where I am today! On Monday, I start as a full employ where I am at. No more feeling slightly ostracized (of course, only in my head) because of my different badge. No more wondering what will happen. And no more overtime! Okay, maybe that last one was actually kind of good to have.

I know many of you have heard my sad tales throughout this past year. Trying to figure out what to do with my career. Where to work? What to do? When will I find the "right" job?? Well, here is how it all unfolded with a brief recap!

After I moved up here, I got in touch with an old friend of mine. We weren't bosom buddies or anything, but he always seemed like a big brother. Or rather, though he would never say, I was just probably a pesty little sister to him. My friend, was kind enough to recommend me for a project position as a paralegal. Got to get in to the company on that and helped out as much as I could. My contract was initially for 2 months. Then one day...Surprise! I get an email saying that my contract had been extended for one month! woohoo! but then...here is where God comes in and how His timing and His working in people are so awesome.

While I was puttering away doing what I was suppose to do and trying to meet and accost people for lunch...someone in my department had given her notice to quit. She happened to be under my same boss. She happened to be doing something that, in my eyes, was not too difficult for me to pick up. She was doing something, in my boss' eyes, I was overqualified to do. Lo and behold, my boss approached me to see if I was interested in moving into that position!! and of course, i said "OF COURSE!" haha. maybe much too eagerly. so with all companies there is some bureaucracy. after sometime, the position was opened, i went through some interviews, and my boss approved me to move over into the position!!!

In a time where there was no hiring b/c there was some recent lay offs and headcount was frozen and budget belts were being tightened....God brought me to a place and the right time to be able to get to know people and do good work for things to be set up just perfectly when a full time position in the company opened up. I could not have thought it to work out any better! i don't have to move groups, i don't have to move cubes, and i'm just sliding over to doing something much more substantive than what i was doing before. And i get to stay working under the same boss who is really really great.

I'm really excited about all the new opportunities. I get to work on a much more cross-functional basis. I get to still do legal analysis and recommendations. It is very interesting to meet and work with new people. I cannot believe how big my working world is from what it used to be. Still quite an adjustment. and lots of work to be done. not only the day to day...but there is anticipated process overhaul that i get to be a part of! it's really awesome!! i can't believe how fortunate it is for me to have this opportunity. I am very thankful to God and to all those people who helped make this happen.

Tomorrow is my last day as a contractor! Come Monday...hello full time employee who has access to the gym and remote access from home!! Now the questions remains, should I get a company blackberry???

2007-07-22T16:52:00.000-07:00

Breaking up is hard to do... (me and my CC company)

We all have credit cards. I happen to be in the process of activating one of mine and closing another one of mine. No particular reasons. Other than the one I was reactivating I have had for a very long time but only use as my emergency card. I'm not too sure what happened to it in the interim, but I ended up opening another account when I moved. Weird. I'm only in the habit of having and using one card. and then having a back up one for emergencies. so i ended up having two for emergencies. weird.

anyhow, as i was trying to activate my old card, i ended up being on hold for the longest time!!! i couldn't to the automatic activate as i was not calling from a landline that was linked to my account. Thus the inevitable music and hold. i tried twice! was on hold for over 10 minutes each time. I know, it's only 10 minutes...but it seemed like forever to be on hold! so anyways, i wasn't too happy with that level of service given that i was trying to ACTIVATE my account so i could start USING it. but alas...i was calling at midnight saturday night...so maybe they were not as well staffed as I had hoped or expected. Lo and behold, the next day my 3rd attempt was golden and i successfully activated my credit card and got an increase in limit! awesome. and yes...only for emergencies.

having done that, i proceeded to cancel and close my other account. reasons why: b/c i just opened the account last year, don't really use them and simply wanted to stay with the card I had had for longer. the customer service number gave me no option to auto cancel my account. and here's the reason why...the "what can we do to keep you" tactic. i had to talk to my account rep and there was the tenacious effort to convince me not to close my account. and i remind you, there was not compelling reason for me to do so. simply put...i had too many credit cards and wanted to close one of them. then came the barrage of questions. some appropriate, others, i thought, very inappropriate, and all in all a bit annoying. here's my paraphrase of the questions:

Why do you want to close your account?
Is there anything we can do to make this card work better for you?
Do you have other credit cards?
Do you other credit cards give you rewards or incentives to use them?
How are we different from your other cards?
Why are you choosing to stay with them and not us?
Do you have a balance on your other cards?
Are interests rates important to you?

After the third time I had to say "i just want to close my account" I was getting a little peeved. why can't i just want to do something for no reason that is any of your business?!! i know, they are just doing their jobs...but seriously...i just want to close my account. if i had a problem with the card and with the services, then i'd say something. but really...i just have one card too many and i'm sorry...but yours gets closed. *sigh* i think i said "I just want to close my account" ten times and i was almost to the point where i wanted to say "i love my other card, i have used the 2nd emergency card before so i know them...I have never used you and don't know you so let me just close my account!!!!" After the 10th time, the rep quickly stated: "ok, your account is cancelled." almost in a manner so i wouldn' t hear it. and when i asked for confirmation of the closing, he seemed very reluctant. not such a great tactic to set things up for eventually trying to lure me back, i should say. if it's that hard to close up, i don't have a very good impression of them overall. just cut me loose. i'm not a money maker for them anyways.

lesson learned: the credit card company offers you a whole bunch (of what could be nothing) if you call them and tell them you want to close your account. too bad in this situation, i just wanted to close. nothing they said could have kept me. hehe..unless they paid me to keep it open. haha.

i must say though...i LOVE my credit card that i use all the time. they are so ON. even when it's me that using my card, they will stop transactions when they suspect something is not normal. awesome. not an annoyance at all. i'm very grateful for them doing so and they are really nice about things. emergency card has been good too. way to make me feel good to increase my limit upon my activation of my new card. yes...i know they are trying to sucker me into to using more and owing them. but alas! touche! i'm not going to!

2007-07-19T22:53:00.000-07:00

As there is No Cable

So many of you might not know...but we have been living without cable tv for quite a while now. No matter...we were plenty busy with the internet and the tv shows you watch online. I have to say, I went a little crazy with the shows and ended up watching almost every conceiveable show there was to watch online. I found great shows like "brothers and sisters" on abc...to not as great shows like "search for the next pussycat doll." but hey...at that time i wasn't working. and i do love my tv.

but now that it's rerun time...no shows to watch. so we've once again, resorted to dvds. tho i have been know to gether dvds here and there...i don't think i've bought a new dvd in about a year. so we've been having some fun watching the same dvds over and over again.

this week's hit of the household: O Brother Where Art Thou. what a wonderful movie! george clooney like you've never seen him before (unless you saw him on the Facts of Life). far from debonair, but nonethless, enthralling to watch. this movie is so great! loads of great quotes and facial expressions. lots of allegory. i can only wish there was some insightful commentary by the directors or the writers of the movie. but alas, we are left to interpret it on our own. the images are quite stunning. and it's so fun to watch!!! i might start getting tired of it in a few days. but for now....i'll leave you with our favorite quotes from the movie:

vince: "Ohhh... mercy yes...we got to beat that competition."

judy: "...and stay out of the Woolsworth!"

2007-07-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

Down Time

So I finally have stolen away some down time to blog. I know you all must have forgotten about me and thought I may have fell off the face of the earth. Nope. Still here. Vince is sleeping so it's just me. I thought I would turn off the TV (I think I've watched all my dvds a gazillion times anyways) and thought about turning off the computer but took a moment to touch base with my blog.

Since I wrote last time lots of things, of course, have happened. In no particular order...went to a wedding which was loads of fun! Of course, most of the fun was watching the groom and his deteriorating but fun behavior due to alcohol consumption. By the end of the night, which by the way was only 11pm, he needed two guys to prop him up and take him up to the couch. Where he lay with a half smile on his face and making weird poses with his arms as they were the only parts of his body not being supported by the couch. He was such fun and a great cooperative drunk. He even made his 6am flight out the next morning! If only I could be cooperative when I'm that gone...

Still working. I may have an update on that soon. But I really am enjoying where I am working, what I am doing, the people that I work with and, surprisingly, am very eager for more. I used to think I didn't care about what I did. But being in an entirely different industry makes me realize that there are some things on which I would rather spend my work day doing. And it is really great to be surrounded by people who strive to be on the cutting edge of what they do. Not only is the subject matter of what I do quite interesting and novel to me, even the workplace itself is pretty awesome.

If you didn't know, I came from a wonderful small law firm atmosphere that thoroughly enjoyed. But being in a big corporation with all these differently trained people and lots of hoops to jump through, is quite an experience. I didn't not know I would have to be so interactive and so nice. I mean, I am nice. and I still think I'm an extrovert...but working with others sometimes takes a lot of effort. Some of my thoughts during the day: "Why is it that I have to say the same thing over and over again? Why is it that even though I say something multiple times in multiple ways, you still don't get it? Am I speaking English?" Okay, that last one is actually a legitimate inquiry because sometimes I'm communicating with international people.

And speaking of international, I discovered (new to me that is) a new island! The island of Mauritius is my new favorite place to talk about! We all know that the island of Madagascar is off the coast of Africa, right? But did we all know that the island of Mauritius is off the coast of Madagascar?!? Not I! I keep telling people that I need to go visit some of our international entities to make sure they are in compliance. :) But alas, my suggestions have fallen on deaf ears. So one revelation of mine...I'm not as culturally correct as I thought myself to be. I am soo western-centric it's amazing. My apologies to all you internationals out there. I will try to be more sensitive to the world cultures. I still have a lot of learning to do.

Anyhow, I think I puked into this blog way to much. I will try to be better at being more consistent.

2007-06-03T17:32:00.000-07:00

Working!

So, if you've noticed...I haven't been writing on the blog. Sorry about that. Haven't had much time lately... I have a job!! For the time being anyhow. I'm trying to be pretty diligent in learning my new industry and new workplace. It's all very much a great lesson in life! When it settles down...I'll be sure to fill you in on all the details!!

stay tuned...

2007-05-06T23:52:00.000-07:00

Rubbing elbows with Celebrities

Ok...maybe not a celebrity in the sense...but Vince did (or could have literally) rubbed elbows with Senator John McCain. Vince is involved with a group at Google that invites authors of all sorts to talk about their book. They have had many authors come by...but this time...media press and everything!!! The authors get a chance to talk about their book, answer questions about their book or other things, sign their book, and get to have the session broadcasted on...you guessed it...Youtube! Check it out on Youtube.

We are in the process of building our library of books from authors that have visited. I can't wait to read Senator McCain's book. The one we have is called "Faith of my Fathers." It's a family memoir. I just got done with Carly Fiorina's memoir: "Tough Choices." I like reading memoirs. It's interesting to read about lessons learned from one's life. I should turn that into a love for reading the Bible, yeah? As that is the ultimate memoir. But I digress. So many books, so little time. It will be intriguing to read about Senator McCain's experiences with war and the lessons he learned from his father.

It's cool to know that Google provides a forum for authors to commentate on their books and answer questions. Cool gig Vince! Can't wait to hear about what author comes next!

2007-05-06T23:28:00.000-07:00

The Drought is Over!!!

The ride has ended. I am officially gainfully employed in what was somewhat my livelihood!!

Hurray! Thank God. I do not have to look for jobs next week!!! Who knows about later on...but I am superbly happy that I do not have to look for jobs or make follow up phone calls next week!!!

I'm sure I will dwell on my situation more and more next week. But I am happy to report that I have found and accepted a job offer. Not the most perfect job offer. It's a temporary assignment...but it is the opportunity I was looking for!!! And hope to make permanent!

So it seems that when I finally committed myself to one direction, still of course being nervous and anxious that I might fail and it would be a hard road ahead...I have found blessing and success. Do I attribute it to God's works?? Of course. Do I think He was holding out on me until this precise moment?? Well, I'm sure I had to face some things about myself before I could be ready for what is in store for me ahead.

By God's orchestration...my new appointment in life started in early April. I was trying to reconnect with some people I knew in the legal field in the area. I was so blessed to find friend from the past. I had known this friend since my high school days and it was a joy to learn where life had taken him throughout the years. With divine intervention, my friend's helping hand, and some humility and just a smidgen of boldness, I soon found myself sitting in an interview for a position with my friend's company. Of course, I was not interviewing for the position of my dreams...but what I was hoping for, was a chance. a small chance that they would give me the opportunity to do anything with and for them, only to hope to make some space to wow and dazzle them. What happened... well, I was so fortunate to interview with a gentleman who, in the 30 minutes I spoke with him, I found to be very understanding and sincere. What started out as a small scrap of effort to convey my willingness to do anything for them, turned into a chance to work at a great company in whatever capacity I could possibly handle when I get there. I am so very grateful for the opportunity. I was so excited about the opportunity I literally jumped for joy. No more job hunting! Embarking on a super exciting opportunity in what is somewhat a new career for me!!

But with the elation comes a little bit of fear and dread. Yes...of course. But it's all really good. I haven't been this excited about any of my previous job offers. The possibility of failure and the impending dread should only make me perform to my utmost, right. There is something to be said about being exited and eager to go to work. There is of course something to be said about feeling like you can't rise to the challenge and it pushed you to do so. The possibility of me tackling things I have no idea how to do...100%! Scary thought. I started to think that in this year of not working...I have almost forgotten how to work. Hope it's like riding a bike...that you never forget. Actually, I almost forgot how to ride a bike...you may have gotten that from a previous entry. Ha ha. In any event...This is a time for me to buckle down. Work my a** off and really soak up and spew back out the experience before me. I know it won't be easy. But I know that I can put my full effort to making this new job work. And I know that God will be behind me to give me the strength I need---whether it be the people and resources around me at work...or vince at home constantly encouraging me...or all of you who think and pray for me. I am utterly grateful for our connection and that we have the bond that we do.

Here's to working hard...for what counts!

2007-04-30T17:14:00.000-07:00

cute things continue...

vitamin water and mini-vitamin water

2007-04-30T16:12:00.000-07:00

Happy Anniversary for Vince and Me!!!

Yea!!! We made it to our one year anniversary!!! Thoughts for us this year... it went by pretty fast and yet not fast. This for us was a year of adjustment. Of course...since we had a long distance relationship when we were together...being together was very much of an adjustment. Living with someone else and coordinating schedules was not always that easy. But good for us...we are both still in one piece and have learned much about the other person and our habits. We also wondered...since this was a year of adjustment, whether we had put things on hold in light of other things not being in place. But while it seemed like we did, in actuality, all of the things that could have happened...probably wouldn't have happened anyway. So it seems that the mentality was to put things on hold...but in actuality...things unfolded or will unfold in it's time.

We had a wonderful dinner for our anniversary. We actually had a wonderful weekend. Lots of relaxing. Swimming, exercising, seeing friends. All in all the best things. The weather was spectacular. we got to go to alexander's steakhouse in cupertino. of course, in vince's opinion, not as great food as forbes...so i was called in for an opinion. i have to say...the food there was great! really great!!! the crowd there was good...not too busy and not too empty. it was cool to see the chef in the kitchen for there was a glass partition where you could see him...and i think even a bar and stools on the other side to actually watch. i must say...our server...andrew...was the best! he was super nice and very polite and kept bringing us out little treats!! overall...the steak itself was not as tasty as forbes...but the dining experience was stellar!!! i would have to say even better than at forbes (although it was a monday night when we dined at forbes; yet forbes was darker in lighting and seemed a bit more old school steakhouse).

ok, here's the play by play:

andrew asked if there was any special occasion and so we told him it was our anniversary. i have to wonder if they do this for all anniversary celebrating people...but in any event...i was super impressed with his or the establishment's thoughtfulness:

amuse bouche: foie gras with japanese rice crackers and preserved fruit with a sauce. haha...i should have a better memory. i am not a big fan of foie gras and have always tended to stay away from it since it was liver. but i have to say...it was a delight. first...it was not something we ordered so that was treat #1!!! the texture was really smooth. the taste...inexplicable. i'm assuming it was covered with the rice crackers to give contrast to the texture and taste. tastewise, it was a nice combo. but the rice crackers tended to stick to my teeth so that was not so pleasant. the fruit pairing gave nice balance too.

we ordered crab cakes with edamame (inside) and tofu and potatoes. i think sweet potatoes but i can't remember. the crabe cakes were really good. it was neat to have the edamame inside for a little bit of a crunch. vince also ordered this japanese beer. they have a website called kodawari.ccc. the beer was nice...smooth tasting and not bitter or watery. plus it has a really cute bottle. whoooo would have thought that an owl could be a good logo. haha. i'm clever.

i had to order the filet mignon. half because it's a super great cut of steak. but also because i really like the portion size and money is going to be shelled out...i'd like to think i'm not being too greedy with how much food i will eat. so good size portion for awesome meat. i ordered it medium rare. sooo yummy. the only reason why i like forbes better was because it seemed to be a more consistent taste and texture. maybe b/c it was a different size. who knows. at forbes i think it was 2 4oz pieces. here...i got 2 6oz pieces. and of course, the outside seared to seal in flavor and juices, and the middle...somewhat red. i could taste the seared part and the medium rare part all too distinctly. i hate to be so nit-picky...but i never noticed the difference before. but still...superb filet. vince had the porterhouse. yet another great piece of meat. funny thing was that he ordered it medium...and it was just as red as mine! maybe because it was a bigger piece...who knows. i had a bite of his...and i have to say that filet is sooo soo good. his was tasty too...just a little bit tougher to chew than the filet.

of course, we had to order dessert. and of course, i saw that they had souffle and so i had to order that. it took 20 minutes to make but that's cool. we still had beer and wine to drink. but in the meantime...andrew brought us out these little mini strawberry shortcakes!! i love all things mini!!! it was so thoughtful and a very very nice gesture. he mentioned they were still a bit frozen...so we might want to wait a little bit.

uh---someone didn't wait that long... i didn't even see vince eat it. he says he cut it in half and then ate the halves. it would have been just as easy to pop the whole thing in his mouth. more stealthy. in any event, whether it was standard b/c of the wait for the souffle...or b/c it was our anniversary (as stated by andrew)...what a nice treat #2!!!!

we then got to partake in the vanilla caramel souffle. i don't get to have souffle often...but it was sooo good! really sweet...very fluffy and moist. mmmmmm!!!!

while we were just getting started on our souffle...andrew comes out with treat #3!!!!! soo soo nice. very well presented. i was marvelling at how a little scoop of ice cream could be so wonderfully presented. and...as far as chocolate ice cream goes... it was super tasty!

so then we thought that was it...that we were all done with the treats and the awesome consideration and service. when lo and behold...here comes andrew with something quite interesting. because vince had dined here before, he was not surprised to see what it was, only that it was being brought out to is. not something that was listed on the menu...but great for treat #4...banana cotton candy!! ok, i know, cotton candy is just sugar...but it was so nice. and so fun. there was this little girl at a table next to us that we thought we should give it too b/c it's so fun and young...but then again...she wasn't paying attention and who know what the parents would have thought at strangers offering their child candy. haha.

great dining experience at alexanders. we wondered whether we would get all those treats if we had a bigger party...so maybe we'll have to try it next time. and andrew elevated wait service to a different level as he handed us his card when we were finished and let us know that we could ask to be served by him and then we'd get vip service the next time we were there. will do andrew...you really made us feel special and well fed on our first anniversary!!! thanks!!

of course, the might did not stop there. having been so spoiled with wonderful desserts...we topped off our night with delicious McDonald's hot fudge sundae and vanilla shake. hey...we're equal opportunity dessert eaters!!! and i remember when sundaes were only 39cents.

mmm...i love food.
what a wonderful weekend we had. here's looking to our 2nd year!!!

2007-04-30T15:42:00.000-07:00

revelation for me...

so i have been having a dilemma with my job hunting...but i seem to be coming out of the woods. or at least there's light ahead. or at least light...may be a train heading my way. anyhow...i've been toying with the idea of an industry change. no more litigation for me. considering transitioning to corporate law. problem is...i have no corporate experience...can't really go back to school for that...and no one will give me a job in it since i have no experience. what a catch 22. anyhow...for the past year i've been one foot in just staying in litigation...and one foot in considering the change. so i haven't been able to move. just recently...i have become more comfortable in committing to the transition...so hence...the light up ahead. but still...i'm not 100% committed and i'm beginning to see what my problem is.

i think it's because i've never really had to really try hard or suffer for anything. not to say that everything has been easy or i've gotten all that's i've wanted. but i think that my nature is such that i'm pretty easygoing and whatever happens happens. i've always been ok with whatever and accepting of things that do or don't work out. but honestly...i've never had to really work 100% hard or give all of me to achieve something or head some direction. except when it came to my relationship with vince. that, hands down...was the hardest, most effortful, and most reflective time in my life. but things like school, job, material things, time spent...they don't fall in that caliber of putting forth my best effort. i used to wonder what would be different if i actually studied harder in school because i know i could have, in high school, college, and law school. and so now i wonder...if i put in my best effort towards my livelihood...what could happen?

so now what... my revelation is that i've been good at going with the flow and sometimes putting my oars in the water to change my direction and sometimes row a few strokes. but then i think of when those trying to be navy seals have to row their boat past the break of the ocean waves or in all i've learned this year about making marriage work... you have to commit and you have to give it your all. none of this half ass-ness. so now...i'm still not 100% committed to my industry transition...because i'm scared and prideful. i'm scared of not knowing what might happen. i'm scared of failing. i'm scared it's the wrong direction. i'm too proud to go down in the ranks. i'm too proud to do something that seems less than what i was trained to do. but i know now...that i don't want to not even try because i might be scared. ok, putting it more grammatically correct: despite my fear...i have to try. i cannot let my fear paralyze me. because that would be worse than failing. and i know now that my pride can be a huge obstacle. my livelihood does not depend on my title or how other people view me. my livelihood is knowing that i'm doing something worthwhile and enjoyable. what that is...haha..i still don't know...but i don't want to be scared or too proud to get there.

2007-04-15T23:11:00.000-07:00

saw this at the stanford mall today. very very cute. everyone who passed by could not help but stare and smile and want one of their own. the owner said it may have been a balance issue after an illness. but it just kept going round and round..even while going straight!!

i was totally thinking of my old friend Jenny who is the champion of all dogs small and cute. i know she'd want to adopt this one!

2007-04-06T16:36:00.000-07:00

MMMM...filet mignon wrapped in prosciutto...

Yea! My birthday just passed!! It's funny how one second I feel old and think fondly of how i'm getting older. then the next second...i'm thinking that i'm young and there's still so much ahead left for me to do and see and experience and learn. i think i'll park myself in the second camp. i'd like to never feel like i'm old...even as i get older in years...

so recent thought was that i think it would be cool to never retire. i mean, don't get me wrong...not having a full time job can be great sometimes. but sometimes...it feels mighty boring and lame. but i was thinking recently that i hope, i am at age whatever...when the retirement age is close at hand..., at a job where i can do and enjoy and like doing until i physically or mentally cannot do it anymore. i know many people look forward to retirement and all...and that there are so many things that one can do when retired...but i'd hope that i can enjoy my life during these years as much as i think i might enjoy them after i might retire. why does this thought come when i'm transitioning ages...who knows. maybe i'll feel different later. but for now...that's where i'm at!

so for my birthday...it was awesome!! many birthday wishes...thanks for all of you who remembered!! really that's the best thing. just that people remember and wish me a happy birthday. the weekend was pretty fun. dinner with family...lunch with friends...then work (ok, that part was kind of sucky). but overall...very relaxing and a really great time with vince! we went to eat at a super extraordinary steakhouse called Forbes Mill Steakhouse in Los Gatos. i have to say...i'm not a wine connoisseur or a food savant...but it was the best food i had in ages...if not ever.
i had the best cabernet ever. not too tanin-y...smooth but not as thick or heavy as a merlot. it was from the winery 75 cellar from amber knolls...couldn't tell you what year or anything else specific...but i could drink that wine all day and night! i had ordered a different wine to start with and they gave me a half glass of the 75 cellar on the house just to try and taste.

though it was monday night and the place was somewhat empty...it was still the best dining experience i had ever had. they knew it was my birthday and so they put a little birthday wish on the daily special menu. now i have to say...that probably took an ounce of effort and a millisecond to print out...but it made a huge impact as it was super thoughtful and quite a nice touch. one of the owners, Dean, stopped by our table about 4-5 times during the night to make sure we were ok. and even when i called back to ask about the wine...he was nice and chatty and very friendly. the server we had, jeffrey, was super friendly and not too imposing or anything. attentive enough that we never wondered where he had gone too. even the busing people...they were super nice and always asked if we were ok...very high quality personnel over there.

i had the tournedos and scallops and it was awesome!!!!!
never tasted better. i can never cook scallops to taste the way they did that night. they were warm...and firm but then melted in my mouth!! and the filet...wow...after i finished the first one...i was amazed that i had yet another one to eat. i have to say...just the right amount of indulgence. and you can't go wrong with meat wrapped in meat. i have to say also...vince's huge porterhouse steak was quite mouthwatering too! my pieces were bit larger than the size of a golf ball slightly flattened (about 1.5 times the size of the large scallops)...vince's steak was huge!!!! look at it!!!

and then we got the dessert sampler!!!! yum!!! it was just the right amount of such great desserts!!! there was a lilikoi cheesecake... kona coffee creme brulee...some apple cobbler thing...and then a chocolate torte...MMMMM!!! again...just the right amount of indulgence.

the only down side of that experience...these two "little wanna-be kids" sitting near us. they may have been early twenties or something. they didn't seem like they were on a date (or at least if they were...someone wasn't into the other person) and we hard the guy complain that the ice tea was "a little to sour" so could they take it back and get him another one. well..be that as it may...i have great doubts that the ice tea would be sour...it's ice tea. ok...i'm getting on a tangent. maybe it was sour. maybe it was so sour he couldn't drink it.

anyhow...go there if you are ever up here. you won't regret it. and you can stroll around town before or after dinner. it's such a nice town. such a nice place to spend the afternoon/evening.

i also got my hair cut. it's way expensive to get my hair cut. i need to find a cheaper place!!! tried a new look. not too into it right now. so i'm just going for the wild uncontrollable hair tied back look for the time being.

here's to next year!! thanks to all of you my friends!!!

2007-03-26T16:32:00.000-07:00

weekend o'fun

this weekend was awesome!! great weather! great time. it would be nice if every weekend could be like this.

friday night started off with a great time in the city with dinner with ben, nic and avery! it was so nice to see good friends and to see a new little friend again. though the night ended early, it was supremely wonderful to catch up and be together. so of course, on the way home...the inevitable question of "you wanna do something else?" came up. we ended up keeping it lowkey and heading over to our local borders for some enlightening. my form of enlightenment...harry potter and the half blood prince. yes...i'm a closet harry potter fan. no...i don't have my copy reserved yet. but i had forgotten what happened in book 6. it's been relax in some nice enjoyable reading.

saturday we slept in a bit and then went swimming! it was such a nice morning to go. water was cool...no one else in the pool! then headed to lunch at our favorite place, i'll call it...the College. they were grilling today so we had lunch outside. it was soo nice we pondered the thought of whether there was a difference in hanging out at a coffee shop or here at the College. and for us...we thought that hanging out at the College was just the same...if not better. You're not surrounded by strangers in close proximity who can hear every word you say. on nice days as it was on saturday...you can lounge outside in the patio...or if you had beach chairs...on the lawn. if the weather is not cooperating...there are lounges inside to relax in. and there is plenty of sustenance only a few steps away. pretty awesome. so vince and i chatted. relaxed...and just hung around. then later...just as conveniently...we went to go work out with our friends Kenny and Elle. we came home after...had some dinner...and relaxed in front of the tube.

sunday...church...which is always great. we found out that i didn't have to work that afternoon, so it was a brief jaunt around the mall...and then off to the College to the gym. before going to the gym however, we got on some bikes and rode around on the trail. i have to say...actually propelling yourself is much harder than sitting on an exercise bike. it was seriously cold with the with and all...but still...a nice ride. except for the one instance where i couldn't really get on the bike and start pedalling and was twisting and turning trying to avoid falling off...or veering towards the down slope into the creek, all the while vince laughing behind me. i have to say...it was funny...during and afterwards... hey...the bike was tall...my legs are short...and i hadn't been on a bike since 2000. that's my excuse. so then off to a stimulating work out on the machines and weights..and some basketball on the gym tv. pretty nice and relaxing...even it it was exercise. we left...picked up some items at trader joes...and then headed off for home. ending the weekend with a nice glass of wine...or two...or three...was super great.

and now it's monday. which isn't so bad...

2007-03-26T16:23:00.000-07:00

so now that i've had some time to simmer and have gotten off the rollercoaster ride...i've learned a few things...

and isn't that worth it...that we can learn things from our situations and events....

1. i really want to work for and with good people.
2. i really don't care what it is that i do for my work subject (to some degree).
3. i'd rather work close to home (unless it's a dream job).

hmm...i guess that's it? haha. i seems that vince and i are going to settle somewhere in the southbay. we like the area. it's nice and suburby. no city-slicking for us. so unless there is a dream job in SF...which is what... i have no idea. but i like living around where we live. green. trees. not too crowded considering. donwtowns with nice streets of shops and restaurants and cafes we can hang in. and...when we want...we can head up to the city for some jam packed nightlife. but for the most part...a good ambiance...good friends...and perhaps a good bar is all we really need.

and as for job hunting i still need to learn that God has a plan for me...and i still need to be diligent in trying to find out what that plan is...and ultimately...He will bring me to the right place for me. i don't have to worry. i don't have to despair. i need not be desperate.

2007-03-14T15:41:00.000-07:00

Let me off this roller coaster please!

For the past week, I feel like I've been on a roller coaster that I don't want to be on. It started out like all roller coasters. The anticipation...the incline...the thrill...then the twists and turns and even slight nausea...then seeing that the end of the ride is near. And instead of the slowing to a stop so I can get off...it jolts to a sudden stop...as if broken down...and leaves me strapped in awaiting not to step off...but to endure yet another ride.

This all stemmed from a job interview that I thought went pretty well. Well enough that it resulted in an offer. Encouraged to take as much time as I needed to contemplate my options and the offer, I was set to wrestle with the various pros and cons and impact of the specific offer. Was it what I wanted to do? Was it a good place? Was the commute doable? Did this position bring me closer to where I wanted to be career-wise? 6 days after the interview I was inclined to accept the position despite the few lingering cons. I was ready to contact said offeror only to wake up to an email saying, to the effect "you said you only would need 3 business days to consider, since you didn't get back to us I presume you got another job and so I gave an offer to someone else. thank you and good luck."

much to my surprise...the bird in the hand flew away. honestly, even though it was not the perfect job...I was crushed. I felt disappointed. I felt disappointing. I felt really really sad. I cried. I felt lame like I was stupid in the way I handled it. But I was certain of the conversation that transpired during the interview that resulted in my thinking that I had time to consider and that I had not promised to get back to them in 3 business days. so i responded back saying there must have been a misunderstanding because i thought i said something else and that if they offered the position to someone else, then that's the way it goes.

of course there are so many thoughts racing through my head. was that a ploy to make me accept? what did i say? did i lose out on a great opportunity? after sometime...i recognized that "me being perfect for the position" did not mean squat. otherwise they would have checked in with me and not given the job to someone else. to me...one week of consideration is not an unreasonable amount of time. it wasn't even a week. not that I'm trying to be petty. but if they told me to take as much time and to explore all my options and they really thought i was valuable...then they would have waited a week before giving the job away or at least checked in...as i was intending to check in. and then of course i thought "i don't want to work for someone who tells me I'm prefect and such a great fit only to know that their actions don't reflect that statement." i felt stupid for giving them so much consideration when they did not return the same.

all in all, it was a learning experience and it was sour but i know better than to let it influence me negatively. I love knowing that I was not meant to be there. I was that close to committing myself and my life and time to that place. and the only thing that would have stopped me was not something i would decide for myself. so it was decided for me. Despite having bouts of feeling sad and disappointed and lame, i revel in the knowledge that God protected me from getting into a situation that wasn't right for me. I could not see it. I did not see it. I may have sensed something. But ultimately, I would have overlooked that sense.
and as i continually operate in a fashion that reflects not knowing what God has in store for me...
i know that He is watching out for me and has something planned for me.

but it's hard being in this place...

2007-03-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

As it was freezing here only 2 months ago...

It was a whopping 78 degrees today! break out the summer clothes!! of course, all I really have are summer clothes...being from LA and all. I find my range or clothes here to be quite deficient in utility. I must conform to the philosphy of layering! Once I can start buying clothes that is.

2007-03-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

i LOVE daylight savings!!! now does changing the law to have daylight savings a few weeks early and end a few weeks later really save energy? i suppose i'll have to read the article.

2007-03-05T22:10:00.000-08:00

Jesus & your Job

What a perfect message for me! This past Sunday it was great to hear Nancy talk about working. She made it a point to say that it wasn't a talk about all things related to your job and Jesus. But her main point was how your job is a gift from God. That we often look at the negative aspects of working. How it distracts from the more valued things in life. How it's not what we really want to be doing. How people at and our workplace is a grind. So this Sunday I got to ponder the aspect of our work and our job and our workplace as being a gift. Of course, I'm not working right now so it was all a bit theoretical for me at this point. But it helped me gain perspective while I'm looking for the 'perfect' job.

So two main things Nancy emphasized. That we are called and designed to 1) do meaningful work and 2) have relationships. Meaningful work. It was nice to hear about the nobility of serving. It doesn't matter what position we have whether it's at the top or the bottom or the middle. We can all serve the company and the people around us in some capacity. And in the end, we have an audience of one. Relationships. It more than just building them for the benefit of the work or the company. It's because we are there to really know people and to exhibit love. Nancy shared how there was an ER doctor she had worked with who knew many details of the life of the man who worked in the janitorial services who would come in after medical care was rendered to clean up the room.

Service in what I do. I think that statement is much more broad than I had previously interpreted. There are so many ways to serve. It's not only the specifics of our job. But in more subtle ways. And when we work...we don't just do it for that raise or the next promotion. Or to impress our co-workers. But we do it because we were designed to our best regardless of what it is we're doing. I thought about that as I am working in retail. Not that I ever thought I was above it. But I certainly didn't place great value on what I was doing. I was not putting any heart into the work. I never wanted to be there. I always wanted to leave. Sure, I would do good work while I was there, but not with a good attitude. I did good work because it was easy or even brainless to me. But I should be doing my best while I'm there because that is what I am called to do. And that my effort reflects my character. And my character should be constant...not come out at certain times. I am created to do meaningful work. And I can do meaningful work no matter what it is I do.

I was reminded the other day how it is so great just to be known. In my quest for finding a job, I stumbled upon an old law school friend of mine. The name was familiar. Since lots of websites have pictures of their employees, I got to put a face with the name and confirmed that indeed, here was an old law school friend. Granted, we didn't hang out at the bars and we didn't study together...but we worked together for a little bit and I surely remembered him. So I emailed the standard..."hope you remember me" email. And to my great joy...he said he did remember me. Of course, I would not have been surprised had he not remembered me because we weren't drinking buddies or anything. But certainly, I have to tell you that it really really brightened my day just to know that he remembered me. And it reminded me how much value there is to just being known. Like the doctor in Nancy's past, there is no different value placed on a person simply because of their position or their function. People come into our lives everyday and we gloss over them as if they didn't matter. Not to say that we must delve into the personal aspects of every one's lives. But there is so much to communicate that goes beyond words when we simply and sincerely get to know those who work around and among us. And we spend so much of our lives at work, around the same group of people day in and day out. Do we take the time out to know who is around us. I confess I'm not good at that. I have a flawed memory so much so that I know I have to write things down or I forget. But I want to be sincere and proactive about knowing people around me. I won't force it. But I definitely want to be better at getting to know people around me.

I hope to find meaningful work. I hope to find meaning in and at my work. And I hope to invest in those people around me so that I can get to know them beyond "Hi, how are you" because I know that I want to be known more that that.

2007-03-02T15:43:00.000-08:00

It's sunny!! let the good times roll!

So the rain has stayed away for a few days and the weekend is upon us!!! I've been itching to play tennis. Don't know why. I'm not a super star tennis player. I only took lessons in the 1st grade. And I have proven time and time again that I cannot cover the whole court. (that's why I love paddle tennis). But it is one of those activities that you don't need a lot to do. A tennis racket. Some tennis balls. A tennis court. And someone to play with. And sadly, I'm probably more adept at tennis than I am at basketball or volleyball. Can't do a simple layup or even dribble with any skill. Can't set or spike the ball. But with tennis...I CAN hit the ball over the net within the boundaries!! Okay, not always. I know, I can't serve very well, but hey, it's just a friendly game of tennis. So it could be that tomorrow is the first day of my tennis hobby. I'm not sick. It's not raining. Awesome! Here's hoping.

2007-02-26T14:48:00.000-08:00

What do I Treasure?

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Looking for a job has not been a bowl of cherries. This transition in my life has not been anything like I expected. Getting married. Moving to a new area. Looking for a new job. Trying to plan for the future. Trying to lay the ground work for that future. And you know how I like to have control...and how I like to know what's going to happen. I want to be a good wife. I want to find a good job. I want to make a difference. And maybe someday...I want to be a good mom. But sometimes that is so overwhelming to me. How to orchestrate all of that so that all those things happen. How can I ensure that that happens. Surely God would want that for me. That is what I treasure. I treasure being stable and secure. I treasure being successful (not necessarily wildly successful). I treasure my life and my things and my status here in this world. In the very immediate...I would really treasure getting a job.

Of course, it's not wrong to want those things. Sure maybe it coincides with God's plan for me. But I can't fool myself...and for sure not fool God. I really want that for me. My heart gets consumed with all those things. And because of my human condition, my heart stops at the things that I treasure.

I want a good job. But I want it so that I can be stable and make money and build towards a future. I didn't want a good job so that maybe I could be more useful to God. I want to be a good wife so that I can build a good family so I could be happy and boast about how good a wife I turned out to be. I didn't want to go through hard times to perhaps touch someone else's life. I didn't want to be good wife with a good family so that I could boast about how God has helped me and has transformed me. Those things, stability, financial success, great family, are all wonderful things...but I don't think they should be where it all ends. There has to be more. God has more in store than just building my life here in this world.

This week I was reminded of one of my most cherished songs. It's called "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" by Stuart Townend. There's a version sung by Joy Williams who has a very very beautiful voice. The song very movingly describes how much He loves me. That He treasures me. Even when I least deserved it. Even though I treasure other things.

So will it be easy to treasure what God did for me? Can I treasure what He will do through me? Will I simply treasure God and who He is regardless of how my life turns out? Or will I continue to treasure things like my job (or future job) or my financial stability or my reputation. I don't think that it will be easy to shift my perspective. I don't really even know how I would do it. I will try to move my heart away from treasuring the things I want and think are good. I want to treasure the things that matter to God. Loving Him. Loving people. I'm sure it will be easier to do when times are better. The bigger challenge will be to do so when things are not good or not smooth. When I'm anxious about my future. Or scared about what will happen. I know it will take a lot of awareness and real honesty. And hopefully reminders when I get going down the oh-so familiar track.

Where my treasures are...there my heart will be. I want my heart to be with God...so I will do my best to make Him my treasure.

2007-02-26T14:47:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!

We love you!

2007-02-26T14:36:00.000-08:00

I feel human again!!

I went for my sleep study last night. Here's what happened...

Took one hour for them to hook up all the electrodes and probes. (judyc: thanks for the pjs!). They tapes most to my body: stomach, collarbone, legs. Then glued several onto my head after first marking my head up with this red crayon pencil that you can find in any high school yearbook rooms. Fun times. Was a little tentative going to the bathroom. Didn't want the little hook up box falling into the toilet. One overnight session later...and 15 minutes of de-electroding and de-probing, I was on my way home at 8am! Straight into the shower and shampooing my hair twice, I still have some flaky remnants of glue...but for the most part...I'm human again!!!! We'll see what happens with the results.

The high light of the event...access to TV!!! alright. no oscars for me. Nope, I'll watch simpsons and family guy for sure!! double episodes of both too.. AWESOME!

the low light of the event...besides the smelly head glue and gazillion wires...the hour if took to put all the electrodes in place was right during the hour double episode of Family Guy! Doh! Couldn't watch the much anticipated show during the time the tech was there applying everything. Well. we had good conversation...

2007-02-22T21:32:00.000-08:00

I'm sick again.

This makes four times being sick since moving up to the Bay Area. Four times in 7 months. What is up!?!? It's not like I am exposed to many many people who have germs. Maybe I'm just incubating the germs all by myself. Anyway...I'm grateful that it's not the weird bacterial infection requiring antibiotics kind of sick. Just a cold. And I think it's under control. Still...four times in 7 months!!!!

2007-02-14T15:38:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, VINCE!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!

2007-02-08T14:18:00.000-08:00

Another complaint about my gym

I know, I don't have kids so I don't know what it's like to balance your time with little ones...but still...

So I thought it was borderline acceptable for one lady to be running on the treadmill while her child sat sleeping in the stroller beside the treadmill. Hey, I do believe that the gym with weight machines and treadmills and bikes and ellipticals and stairs (at least there are no free weights) is not a very safe place for young children, I was placated by the fact that the child was strapped into the stroller, sleeping, so as not to venture into harms way. Fine by me. Maybe bring in one of those little fourwalled contraptions where the baby can at least move around a little.

BUT THEN, I saw something that I though was completely boneheaded. One lady somehow thought it would be ok and safe to bring her child of perhaps 2 or 3 years of age into the gym. Granted it's not a very big or busy gym. But while this woman was doing her walking thing on the treadmill, her little girl is busily running around the whole gym. Touching whatever she can get her little hands on. I don't know about you, but first of all, how could you concentrate on exercising when your child is running around. Second of all, it's not like you can see her at all times for there are some corners in the gym area. Thirdly, how would your even communicate with your child over the several TV's and machines putting out noise. Lastly, isn't it a bit uncomfortable and anxious to have your small child running around wanting to touch things that may have moving or heavy parts associated to them.

I'm not a big fan of shared gyms. In the past 2 weeks, I have not seen anyone bring in a towel to wipe off the machine after they were using it.

i just want to make BIG signs that say:

"WIPE THE MACHINE AFTER YOU USE IT"

and

"THE GYM IS NOT A PLACE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN TO BE RUNNING AROUND IN WHILE YOU EXERCISE"

I know, I should have some compassion. Well, I do. (I haven't made my signs yet) But really, they should have some creativity and common sense.

2007-02-07T11:23:00.000-08:00

Principle 1: Enhance your Love Maps

Okay, kind of corny for the name of this principle. What this principle comes down to is paying attention to your partner and being intimately familiar with their world and communicating such. By doing so, you can truly 'know' your husband/wife and truly love them.

What is it to know someone? First impressions? But people change. People grow. There are so many times that I will think "He should just know me!" or "He should know what to do (or how to make me feel better)(or what to say)." Then I take a step back and think "Well, I don't really know what would make me feel better." Or worse yet, "I never expressed to him what might make me feel better." Or the worst: "I expressed that this would make me feel better when in reality, something else that I'm not aware of would." Why should I expect him to read my mind and know me automatically. Again, it takes time and effort to get in sync with my husband. We often fall out of sync, which makes it all the more important. Hopefully I, as a person, and still growing and learning more and more about myself. And should I expect that my spouse know all these changes in me when perhaps I've only just discovered them and have kept that newly acquired information to myself? Likely not. I confess that there are times when I assume I've married a mind reader. One of the many mis-assumptions I have. So I've got to put serious effort in communicating what I know of who I am to my husband, and put some serious effort into getting to know who my husband is. And then remember. I can only hope that it gets easier later down the line. Like with other things, the learning curve at the beginning is so steep, but then...smooth(er) sailings.

There will be changes, distractions or other obstacles as we move through our lives. Financial pressures. The arrival of a baby. Job stresses. Family issues. Health problems. It would be really easy for me not to update my map. For me to go on my way and think Vince would be right there along with me. When in reality, I've left him back at the gas station because I forgot to tell him I was leaving. It's important to be current in communicating and learning about each other. What worked before might not work the same later. I wonder what my interactions with Vince would be like after I get a job. Or if we have kids. Or if we had serious financial burdens. Would I remember to update my map and let him know that it's been updated? Would I just mosey along my way expecting Vince to know where I was and where I'm headed. As with any journey involving two or more people, communication is key. Communication and a shared map are even better!

It's strange too because it makes me think: how well do I know myself? How we expect someone to know who we are if we don't really know ourselves? Truth is, the only me that my husband will know, is the me that I let him see and hear. And who am I? Well, that's a complicate issue too. Thank God that Vince is willing and wanting to find all of that out. And even help me along the way. I've been thinking about who I am. Having not had a 'real' job for a while, it has really made me contemplate my identity and my worth. Aside for the truth that I am a child of God and that He finds worth in me just as I am, who am I? Is who I project myself to be really who I am? I remember the day when people were surprised when I told them that I was in law school. Then even more surprised to know, later on, that I was a lawyer. "You're so nice!" "You're too sweet!" "You look like you're still in college!" people would say. I am very appreciative of the comments, but it made me think, why is it so surprising?! Of course, I know the stereotypical jokes about lawyers (please feel free to share more of them with me!) and I'm glad I don't fall into that category. But the wheels had started turning. Who am I and who do people perceive me to be, and are those identities wildly different.

I suppose that question is of more importance now because I'm married. I used to think "I don't care what other people think about me. I'll be who I want to be." But if who I am is so different from who I think I am, it makes it super hard for Vince. I do know and believe that while I need to grow as a person, I need to be honest with myself. First, though, before growing as a person, I need to come to an understanding of where I'm starting from. By no means am I ever stuck where I am with no where to grow. Sure, my interests can change. They can vary from time to time. But my core...my self...would hopefully remain consistent. My core and values are anchored in Jesus. That doesn't change. That classical music made me fall asleep when I was little, and now I enjoy listening to it all day with no sleep inducing effect...that's cool. And as much as I can pretend that I love classical music enough to buy season tickets to the symphony and would go to every performance...well....that wouldn't be who I am. That might be who I think I am. Or who I want others to think I am. But in reality, at the end of the day, in the quietness of my room, it is not. I enjoy classical music. I would enjoy going to a symphony performance once in a while. But am no means am I a purveyor of that art. Still, there is hope. If in fact, I listen to classical music so much, I could, one day, fall in love with it, perhaps a particular composer, and invest myself to one day make myself that person whom I thought I was today and was definitely not many days ago.

Ok, I can go on and on. In short, I need to know and create the map of my own self so to be true to myself and as to assist my husband should he need it. I need to know and consistently read my husband's map of self to be able to truly love and support him. There will be distractions. There will be wrong routes taken. There will probably be brief periods of resentment. But in the end, knowing and communicating the inner workings of our soul brings us closer together.

2007-02-02T17:07:00.000-08:00

It's so easy to fall down the spiral of stubbornness, righteousness, and pain. Being newly married is hard. When people ask me when I got married, and I tell them less than a year ago, they automatically say "Oh! You're still newlyweds!" or "Oh, still in your honeymoon period!" And while I do appreciate the well wishes and the optimism...I sometime really don't think of this stage of my life and our lives as being so carefree and blissful.

Why so down? It takes me a lot of brain power to think of the responsible adult things in life. What job to get. Should we buy a house. When to buy. Where to buy. How to spend our time. Who to spend it with. Should we have kids. When to have kids. How many kids to have. How's my health. How's his health. What bills to pay. How to save. The list goes on and on.

Don't get me wrong. There are more times than I can count where things are happy and light and blissful and fun and very funny. (see mini-golf outing and holiday party below) But I suppose that I can't just ignore the hard and serious things that come with marriage and building a life together. I used to nod my head at church when the speaker would say "marriage is like two rivers merging together." I acutally know what that feels like. I was really ignorant of what it took to be in a meaningful, intentional, and intimate marriage. One thing that I am learning is that being in that kind of a marriage takes a lot of humility. Of course, I don't know even a smidgen of being in that kind of a marriage which is also long lasting. Time will tell. And now. I do think (too infrequently than I probably should) that I am a bad wife because I'm still selfish. A hard thing to admit to myself let alone to my husband. It stinks. When will I be done with this life lesson?

Thank my dad for sending me off in a good direction. For those of you who attended our wedding, you might remember that he gave us two books to read. The first one, "The Cost of I Do," was precisely about that. The central message...you guessed it. There is a cost to saying I do. In a nutshell, the book tried to expose the more serious real life about marriage. About taking responsibility and being serious about the commitment. Not my favorite book, but a valid perspective.

I was reminded of the second book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," the other day. Having recently fallen sharply down the vortex of hurt and anger, I was reminded that marriage, and especially my marriage, takes work. I thought, was I putting any work in it? Or did I just think coasting by was effort enough? I'm not saying the book is the answer to it all. My inspiration and revelation comes from God and those things and people around me. Over the next several posts, I want to share the principles espoused in the book I read because I think it can be a good supplement. Also because someone was supposed to read but hasn't, probably won't, and I'll have to summarize it anyway. And hopefully future posts will continue to reveal that I am getting better at being in a marriage and growing as a person.

The sobering reality to me...I can put so much more effort into my marriage. I have to. Not because it's not working. Not because we were not supposed to be together. But because we made a commitment to each other. We made a promise that we would be married. We hold true to the words "I love you" and saying that to another person demands that effort and commitment. I work so hard at other things. I get distracted by other things. I prioritize other things. It makes me sad at how deficient I can be in this marriage. But it gives me hope and makes me glad, that I can always do better tomorrow.

I love you Vince!
Even when I'm mean.

2007-01-29T14:54:00.000-08:00

Why is it that people who work out in gyms that they do not own...on machines that are not theirs, do not feel the need or desire to wipte down the machines when they are done sweating all over them!?!? YEW!! It's totally GROSS!! I find it very hard to believe that after one works out and sweats and touches things that don't belong to him, have some inkling that someone else will be touching the same place, that that one person does not have the courtesy of wiping off the areas that have been touched.

Oh, don't get me wrong...there have been times when I fail to bring a towel with me. But then I use my jacket or whatever to wipe down the machine. *sigh* even when there are signs posted...people don't do it. And even when there are towles provided...people don't do it.

Gross.

2007-01-24T23:05:00.000-08:00

With the conveniences of the internet, television, and of course, our heater and comfy bed and blankets, Vince and I are determined to not spend our lives indoors too often.

So we got to hang out with friends Anne, John and Kori - the Pickelle family. Nice!! We braved the cold weather and strolled to downtown Burlingame to have dinner together. Downtown Burlingame is a nice nice little area. So cute...and much changed since 1998-ish. Ha ha. The biggest change that I noticed...the HUGE Apple store on the corner of the main street. If you ask me, it just didn't seem right. It was too modern for the area. In the midst of all these cute boutiques, and yes, other inevitable chain stores...the Apple store just seemed out of place. Almost too pristine of a store. But I guess it's nice and convenient for the locals.

We had a great time and tried to devise a plan for the four of us to go hang out next time at a bar. You know, work places and gyms have temporary child care set up. Why not for bars!?!? Our most viable plan...Anne and I will stay with Kori while Vince and John go to the bar and hang out there for an hour or so. Then they'd come back and Anne and I would go to the bar and hang out for an hour or so. *sigh* It probably won't be happening. But at least we have a game plan. Plus, Kori is way to cute too leave at home:

In another effort, we took some time in the afternoon to go...wait for it...

That's right!!! Mini golfing!!! I think it took us a little over a half hour to finish the course. I lost. Partially because I failed to follow through. But I did get a hole in one!! On one of those holes that you hit the ball into some contraption and then it spits out somewhere else. Vince's nemesis...the volcano hole. You know the one. That one that looks oh so easy...but those dang sloppy sides get you every time. Oh...we will be revisiting mini-golf sometime to rewrite that experience. Lots of kids there for birthday parties. Pretty cool.

To help us with our adventures outdoors, I must report that our tv has died. I guess that's ok because we don't pay for cable anyway. But now, no more dvd watching. YIKES!! Still, the tv was pretty old. I believe it was pre-1999.

It has served us well and it probably was just too tired to keep going after being run practically all day everyday since I'm not working. Thanks to the old tv. We will miss you. Thank goodness for tv online. and youtube. But wait...we're supposed to spend more time outdoors anyways!
Here's to the old tv. we will be sad to see you go. And we soon will be utter consumed by lcd/plasma/dlp and screen sizes. Good times ahead!

2007-01-16T19:37:00.001-08:00

WOW! IT'S FREEEEZING!!!!!!

I knew it would be colder up here in the Bay Area as compared to the wonderful weather of SoCal...but it is FREEZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't believe it when Vince said it would be below freezing here in Sunnyvale. (Still sunny...yet coooold!). I was the skeptic...thinking..."yeh...it's probably that cold in the inland areas...but not here." I could not have been wronger (is that even a word?) (more wrong, i suppose is better). We checked the weather in the early morning...and sure enough...28 degrees faranheit! Wow. It sure made us think we were enjoying a nice snowboarding vacation in Tahoe. But nope...we were sitting in our little apartment with the heater blasting and bundled up.

Why bundled up with heater blasting?? Our apartment, and nice as it is and as thankful and appreciative as we are...really sucks in the insulation department. While outside it may be 46 degrees during the day...inside it's a whopping 50 degrees! awesome! And I am at home...refusing to turn on the heater during the day so as to try to prove a point...to no one but myself...that I can be energy efficient. I win!! Haha. But my feet, hands, and nose sure do suffer. Thankfully, Vince comes home and then we can turn on the heater. Because it makes sense to turn on the heater for two...rather than for just one.

We love our space heater! Makes our sleep much more enjoyable. Let's all stay warm and make it to the spring!!!!

2007-01-03T19:55:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!! and Happy New Year!!!

Welcome 2007. so far...day 3...2007 has been great! Spent Christmas down in LA and New Year up in the Bay. It was great to see the little neice and nephew again! seems like they've changed so much...and then haven't. i wonder...did i fight like that with my brother when we were that age?? sometimes i think i just ran away or cried or something. Maile seems to be much smarter than i was at her age. she is much more sly and subversive in her "getting-her-brother's-toys-to-play-with" tactics. kudos to little sisters everywhere!!

still...tyler is so lovable. got his own digital camera to use. i'm secretly hoping that he will be the avid photographer in his later life.

and he is quite the master of the timer setting on our camera.

love those kids...with #3 neice/nephew on the way.

even though this christmas was impacted by my grandmother's passing...it was still a good time for all. seemed like family took my grandmother's passing in stride. sad for us of course, but happy that she is in a better place. she is not in any more pain or discomfort. and i believe, while we can never really be ready to say goodbye, we were as prepared as we could be. the occassion brought a gathering of family that has not been in decades. got to see a lot of my cousins i hadn't seen since i was 8 years old. nice to catch up and learn about their lives in chicago, boston, and florida. hopefully, we'll be able to stay in touch as we grow on.

new years...cold cold cold. and i was practically wearing the same thing this new years eve, as last new years eve. sad? frugal? or perhaps, awesome b/c my clothes have longevity! haha. i think more on the sad part. but i was warm. vince, karen, greg and i went up to the embarcadero after some dinner and drinks in awesome SAN BRUNO, CA!!! our friend BART took us smack dab in the middle of thousands of people.

and by the time it was midnite...thousands more people lined the streets at the ferry building to witness the fireworks. fireworks...awesome! someday, i would love to go to the world series of pyrotechincs. haha. we jammed out of there quick so as not to get stuck in the massive stampede of those riding home. i have to say, that the countdown and the anticipation are half the fun of new years. with no second hand letting us know how many seconds were left...seeing the minute hand slowly ease on over to the stroke of midnite and then having the fireworks blast out of nowhere...not quite the exciting impact. missed the loudly counting down of...THREE...TWO...ONE...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! but still...fun times for all and no trouble getting home.

here's to 2006...still reflecting on all the events thereof. here's looking towards 2007 and all it has in store for us!! last thought...2006 and my mom's fruit trees have been good to this well fed creature:(picture taken by Tyler Shu)

2006-12-03T23:17:00.000-08:00

ooo...wee! google party was fun...when there is hardly anyone there. and by hardly anyone, i mean maybe about 1200 ppl. but spread out...there was easy movement, easy access to any one of the 9 bars and ability to check out the rooms and the little shows. room themes had god and goddess names. very creative.

the food was really awesome! lots of variety.
my favorite...hand rolled sushi!!! yum!! i was double fisting more than once that nite. couple of times with the hand rolls...

then here with mini chicken burgers and shrimp with a remoulade sauce.
YUMMY!! i mainly go for the food, if you can't tell by now.

food from all over the place, pulled pork, jambalaya, tamales, green bean salad, sauteed mushrooms. mmm...just remembering makes me drool..

vince's favorite... mini tacos in the best room of all!!

although he also enjoyed the flambee'd cherries with vanilla ice cream. the desserts were excellent! mini pecan tarts, delicious brownies (i've discovered that i really like brownies) and all kinds of yummy treats. oo...endless and very decadent.

they also had great music. the reggae band, the jazz trio, dj's playing house music, ethereal sounds...any mood you could imagine.

the decor was great.

here's something from the aphrodite room that i thought was super creative. i don't know, it just was really nice.

and here, from the poseidon room with an awesome reggae band!
here's one of the eating areas and bars...

but the best part in the best room...the battle of the low-riding impalas! see what happens when you go early and there's room to battle! we asked if they were going to battle again, but alas...they didn't... possibly b/c there were too many people coming in.

see...TOO MANY people is not good! this room had the best decor...the best music...not too sure what it had to do with gods or goddesses...but who cares! it was FUN!!!

by 10:30pm...it was wall to wall people in the food and bar areas. so we high tailed it outta there. didn't have time or the proper attire to participate in the sporting activities around the party...pool tables, basketball hoops, some shooting game.

last thought: from the poseidon room...that is a real person up there....
happy holiday courtesy of google. THANKS!

2006-12-01T14:21:00.000-08:00

*sigh* they are so cute. my nephew Tyler and niece Maile. soo cute.

2006-12-01T14:19:00.000-08:00

so three things to share today!

apparently, coughing for an extended period of time can result in what feels like bruised ribs. lemme just say that antibiotics are wonderful. and while i have no more spastic coughing and phlegm...yea!...the soreness in my ribs and the feeling like someone has repeatedly punched me right in my right ribs remains. sad to say that i'll be just walking around and then all of a sudden keel over with pain in the right rib area. *sigh* when will the pain go away? but thanks be to God for His healing power...and for giving peeps the smarts to create antibiotics.

second...i'm such a sucker! i had an interview today at this law firm. small law firm. very informal and what i'm used to. met with two tall male partners and one tall male senior associate. one of the partners read my thoughts when he said "oh look, you're surrounded." so this firm does what i used to do so it was all very comfortable and the interview went fine. (not at all like the debacle interview of the past which someone of you may recall i had). nice little surroundings for an "office." nothing like the concrete jungle high rise i have become accustomed to. but i am a sucker because they were so nice! fun. family oriented. pretty kick back. and i feel bad that i will probably turn them down. sad!! i know! where is my killer instinct? where is my business savvy. oh no. i seem to have locked into my...awww...i feel bad and they are so nice mode. *sigh* but alas, i am very thankful for interviews and opportunities such as these. and very thankful for things to come! ( i know...i can think to myself that it was one of them that punched me in the ribs!)

third...let's party tonite! google holiday party tonite! yea. i wasn't looking too much forward to it. maybe it's the lingering feeling of unwellness...maybe it means i have to put effort into my appearance. but really, i know it's b/c i hate being around crowds and really never feel like being in the midst of what could be over 5 thousand people. they say the venue is about the sizie of 4 footbal fields. theme: googolympics. where is my toga? *sigh* i hate people. not individual people. but big crowds of people. vince and i need to implement the buddy system.

go ucla!

judy

2006-11-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

so is it okay to not know what you want to do? yes...i know the answer is yes...it's ok. but it just doesn't stop there, does it?

in the grand scheme of things...life is too short and too valuable to worry yeah? while i know in my heart and in my head that God is in control and has a plan for me, somehow, unbeknowst to me...those thoughts of uncertainty in that plan and fear keep on creeping in.

in the midst of my job hunt, inevitably the questions arise:
1. why do you want to work here?
2. where do yo see yourself in 5/10 years?
of course my enthused answers (paraphrased of course):
1. i LOVE your company, it's a great opportunity and exactly what i'm looking for!
2. working here of course!!
when in reality i'm thinking:
1. you're hiring and i think i fit
2. i have no idea.

i don't know about you all...but, to me, work is just work. i have come to realize that i have no great passion to be doing any certain anything as a career. on the other hand, while i don't really care what it is i do, i actually do care. there are things i wouldn't want to do. there are things i would not really enjoy doing. but then there is this whole world of things that i suppose i wouldn't mind doing if it "put food on the table" and let me have a life. and what do those phrases really mean?

here's the burning question of the day: having gone to law school and been a lawyer...is that something i want to do for the rest of my life? can i see myself not doing that after going to school for it and taking the most horrible test of my life? it was good before and seems cool now...but do i want to do that when i'm 47 years old? i don't know but something tells me maybe not. do i want to work at williams sonoma unpacking boxes for $10/hr...because that surely takes no brain power and lets me have a life (incidentally it could also introduce me to a community of potheads). something tells me that i don't really want that either.

so in the struggle to find some happy medium i may have to think more concretley about staying a lawyer or moving over to something else. people move industries. people end up doing something that they did not go to school for all the time, right? and if i wasn't a lawyer...what would i be? (ooo...re-reading this...i changed it to "what would i do" but i thought i fitting to leave it uneditted as it does really reflect that my struggle might more that just "what to do?")(hmmm...more contemplation required) then there are thoughts on would i or could i go back to being a lawyer if i took a 5 or 10 year detour? what's a girl to do!!!

*sigh* my mantra has now morphed from i HATE job hunting to i HATE job hunting AND interviewing.

i miss you all!

2006-11-02T14:27:00.000-08:00

better late than never. many of you may have heard that vince had a little accident in our pool over a month ago. he was doing a flip while swimming, pushed off the wall and unfortunately smacked his mouth on the bottom of the pool. that resulted in a fractured tooth. after many dental and oral surgurical appointments...vince is now the proud bearer of a dental implant!!!

the oral surgeon put the implant in his mouth and the dentist affixed a temporary tooth. it takes four months for the implant are to completely heal...so vince is sporting his temporary tooth while the lab makes his new tooth. come end of january 2007...new tooth arrives!!

hopefully that explains vince's slower than normal eating habits and his fondness of using a fork and knife for all food products and hydrogen peroxide.

2006-11-01T18:31:00.000-08:00

i am not a fan of this template. i am quite frustrated in trying to change it though. i picked a new one. i saved the new setting. i republished the blog. yet it is still the SAME template!!!

i give up.

jerk.

2006-11-01T18:10:00.000-08:00

so here are some pics from my trip to zihuatanejo. sorry for the poor picture quality. i went more on the low tech high convenience camera for this trip.. i'm sure tina has better...

this was from the plane when we were leaving!! so sad...such a beautiful place to be... it was fun to see two giant cruise ships one day in the bay... gave us some perspective on how big the bay actually was. the weather was perfect...some lightning at night...some rain at night...but hot, humid and sunny during the day!!

we spent one of our mornings or afternoons (we never really knew what time it was) in the central market of downtown zihuatanejo. after perusing the fruit/veggie stands (seeing the most gigantic kiwi fruits and cauliflower ever), and the trinket stands...lo and behold...we come to the raw meat stands!! this was one of many....

here was the view from our balcony/patio. we had a jacuzzi tub and two loungey chairs on the patio...so it was nice to hang out in the patio on the humid nights. only once though...then it was even nicer to hang out in the a/c room.

and here was a view while lounging on the beach... didn't want to be too obvious. didn't get a chance to document his hand-on-hip-looking-
afar-into-the-ocean pose. we were only able to his his catwalk along the beach.

overall zihuatanejo was awesome!

and the people were beautiful...

but he may have been the most beautiful:

(i got too excited trying to photo him while pretending to photo my friend karen...couldn't focus or get the right amount of zoom) (and if you look really close...you can see his headband)

2006-10-14T14:38:00.000-07:00

wow. it's been quite sometime since the start of this blog...and a posting...
our bad.. sorry. i personlly find a somewhat foreign to post...even though i can talk for hours about nothing or about things people don't really care about. something, they just warrant some pondering. there is not a lack of things to talk about. could be anything, yeah?

so then, it's a question of who wants to participate in conversations about anything? with me, at that.

so there you have it...if you want to talk about things...or rather, write about things, with me then cool!!! if not...then that's fine too. it's like i'll never know you were here anyways. i'm not that technologically advanced.

talk soon!

2006-07-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

We created this blog to act as a diary for ourselves and our friends. Keep an eye out for our postings!