Working!

So, if you've noticed...I haven't been writing on the blog. Sorry about that. Haven't had much time lately... I have a job!! For the time being anyhow. I'm trying to be pretty diligent in learning my new industry and new workplace. It's all very much a great lesson in life! When it settles down...I'll be sure to fill you in on all the details!!

stay tuned...

Rubbing elbows with Celebrities

Ok...maybe not a celebrity in the sense...but Vince did (or could have literally) rubbed elbows with Senator John McCain. Vince is involved with a group at Google that invites authors of all sorts to talk about their book. They have had many authors come by...but this time...media press and everything!!! The authors get a chance to talk about their book, answer questions about their book or other things, sign their book, and get to have the session broadcasted on...you guessed it...Youtube! Check it out on Youtube.

We are in the process of building our library of books from authors that have visited. I can't wait to read Senator McCain's book. The one we have is called "Faith of my Fathers." It's a family memoir. I just got done with Carly Fiorina's memoir: "Tough Choices." I like reading memoirs. It's interesting to read about lessons learned from one's life. I should turn that into a love for reading the Bible, yeah? As that is the ultimate memoir. But I digress. So many books, so little time. It will be intriguing to read about Senator McCain's experiences with war and the lessons he learned from his father.

It's cool to know that Google provides a forum for authors to commentate on their books and answer questions. Cool gig Vince! Can't wait to hear about what author comes next!

The Drought is Over!!!

The ride has ended. I am officially gainfully employed in what was somewhat my livelihood!!

Hurray! Thank God. I do not have to look for jobs next week!!! Who knows about later on...but I am superbly happy that I do not have to look for jobs or make follow up phone calls next week!!!

I'm sure I will dwell on my situation more and more next week. But I am happy to report that I have found and accepted a job offer. Not the most perfect job offer. It's a temporary assignment...but it is the opportunity I was looking for!!! And hope to make permanent!

So it seems that when I finally committed myself to one direction, still of course being nervous and anxious that I might fail and it would be a hard road ahead...I have found blessing and success. Do I attribute it to God's works?? Of course. Do I think He was holding out on me until this precise moment?? Well, I'm sure I had to face some things about myself before I could be ready for what is in store for me ahead.

By God's orchestration...my new appointment in life started in early April. I was trying to reconnect with some people I knew in the legal field in the area. I was so blessed to find friend from the past. I had known this friend since my high school days and it was a joy to learn where life had taken him throughout the years. With divine intervention, my friend's helping hand, and some humility and just a smidgen of boldness, I soon found myself sitting in an interview for a position with my friend's company. Of course, I was not interviewing for the position of my dreams...but what I was hoping for, was a chance. a small chance that they would give me the opportunity to do anything with and for them, only to hope to make some space to wow and dazzle them. What happened... well, I was so fortunate to interview with a gentleman who, in the 30 minutes I spoke with him, I found to be very understanding and sincere. What started out as a small scrap of effort to convey my willingness to do anything for them, turned into a chance to work at a great company in whatever capacity I could possibly handle when I get there. I am so very grateful for the opportunity. I was so excited about the opportunity I literally jumped for joy. No more job hunting! Embarking on a super exciting opportunity in what is somewhat a new career for me!!

But with the elation comes a little bit of fear and dread. Yes...of course. But it's all really good. I haven't been this excited about any of my previous job offers. The possibility of failure and the impending dread should only make me perform to my utmost, right. There is something to be said about being exited and eager to go to work. There is of course something to be said about feeling like you can't rise to the challenge and it pushed you to do so. The possibility of me tackling things I have no idea how to do...100%! Scary thought. I started to think that in this year of not working...I have almost forgotten how to work. Hope it's like riding a bike...that you never forget. Actually, I almost forgot how to ride a bike...you may have gotten that from a previous entry. Ha ha. In any event...This is a time for me to buckle down. Work my a** off and really soak up and spew back out the experience before me. I know it won't be easy. But I know that I can put my full effort to making this new job work. And I know that God will be behind me to give me the strength I need---whether it be the people and resources around me at work...or vince at home constantly encouraging me...or all of you who think and pray for me. I am utterly grateful for our connection and that we have the bond that we do.

Here's to working hard...for what counts!

cute things continue...

vitamin water and mini-vitamin water

Happy Anniversary for Vince and Me!!!

Yea!!! We made it to our one year anniversary!!! Thoughts for us this year... it went by pretty fast and yet not fast. This for us was a year of adjustment. Of course...since we had a long distance relationship when we were together...being together was very much of an adjustment. Living with someone else and coordinating schedules was not always that easy. But good for us...we are both still in one piece and have learned much about the other person and our habits. We also wondered...since this was a year of adjustment, whether we had put things on hold in light of other things not being in place. But while it seemed like we did, in actuality, all of the things that could have happened...probably wouldn't have happened anyway. So it seems that the mentality was to put things on hold...but in actuality...things unfolded or will unfold in it's time.

We had a wonderful dinner for our anniversary. We actually had a wonderful weekend. Lots of relaxing. Swimming, exercising, seeing friends. All in all the best things. The weather was spectacular. we got to go to alexander's steakhouse in cupertino. of course, in vince's opinion, not as great food as forbes...so i was called in for an opinion. i have to say...the food there was great! really great!!! the crowd there was good...not too busy and not too empty. it was cool to see the chef in the kitchen for there was a glass partition where you could see him...and i think even a bar and stools on the other side to actually watch. i must say...our server...andrew...was the best! he was super nice and very polite and kept bringing us out little treats!! overall...the steak itself was not as tasty as forbes...but the dining experience was stellar!!! i would have to say even better than at forbes (although it was a monday night when we dined at forbes; yet forbes was darker in lighting and seemed a bit more old school steakhouse).

ok, here's the play by play:

andrew asked if there was any special occasion and so we told him it was our anniversary. i have to wonder if they do this for all anniversary celebrating people...but in any event...i was super impressed with his or the establishment's thoughtfulness:

amuse bouche: foie gras with japanese rice crackers and preserved fruit with a sauce. haha...i should have a better memory. i am not a big fan of foie gras and have always tended to stay away from it since it was liver. but i have to say...it was a delight. first...it was not something we ordered so that was treat #1!!! the texture was really smooth. the taste...inexplicable. i'm assuming it was covered with the rice crackers to give contrast to the texture and taste. tastewise, it was a nice combo. but the rice crackers tended to stick to my teeth so that was not so pleasant. the fruit pairing gave nice balance too.


we ordered crab cakes with edamame (inside) and tofu and potatoes. i think sweet potatoes but i can't remember. the crabe cakes were really good. it was neat to have the edamame inside for a little bit of a crunch. vince also ordered this japanese beer. they have a website called kodawari.ccc. the beer was nice...smooth tasting and not bitter or watery. plus it has a really cute bottle. whoooo would have thought that an owl could be a good logo. haha. i'm clever.



i had to order the filet mignon. half because it's a super great cut of steak. but also because i really like the portion size and money is going to be shelled out...i'd like to think i'm not being too greedy with how much food i will eat. so good size portion for awesome meat. i ordered it medium rare. sooo yummy. the only reason why i like forbes better was because it seemed to be a more consistent taste and texture. maybe b/c it was a different size. who knows. at forbes i think it was 2 4oz pieces. here...i got 2 6oz pieces. and of course, the outside seared to seal in flavor and juices, and the middle...somewhat red. i could taste the seared part and the medium rare part all too distinctly. i hate to be so nit-picky...but i never noticed the difference before. but still...superb filet. vince had the porterhouse. yet another great piece of meat. funny thing was that he ordered it medium...and it was just as red as mine! maybe because it was a bigger piece...who knows. i had a bite of his...and i have to say that filet is sooo soo good. his was tasty too...just a little bit tougher to chew than the filet.


of course, we had to order dessert. and of course, i saw that they had souffle and so i had to order that. it took 20 minutes to make but that's cool. we still had beer and wine to drink. but in the meantime...andrew brought us out these little mini strawberry shortcakes!! i love all things mini!!! it was so thoughtful and a very very nice gesture. he mentioned they were still a bit frozen...so we might want to wait a little bit.

uh---someone didn't wait that long... i didn't even see vince eat it. he says he cut it in half and then ate the halves. it would have been just as easy to pop the whole thing in his mouth. more stealthy. in any event, whether it was standard b/c of the wait for the souffle...or b/c it was our anniversary (as stated by andrew)...what a nice treat #2!!!!

we then got to partake in the vanilla caramel souffle. i don't get to have souffle often...but it was sooo good! really sweet...very fluffy and moist. mmmmmm!!!!



while we were just getting started on our souffle...andrew comes out with treat #3!!!!! soo soo nice. very well presented. i was marvelling at how a little scoop of ice cream could be so wonderfully presented. and...as far as chocolate ice cream goes... it was super tasty!


so then we thought that was it...that we were all done with the treats and the awesome consideration and service. when lo and behold...here comes andrew with something quite interesting. because vince had dined here before, he was not surprised to see what it was, only that it was being brought out to is. not something that was listed on the menu...but great for treat #4...banana cotton candy!! ok, i know, cotton candy is just sugar...but it was so nice. and so fun. there was this little girl at a table next to us that we thought we should give it too b/c it's so fun and young...but then again...she wasn't paying attention and who know what the parents would have thought at strangers offering their child candy. haha.

great dining experience at alexanders. we wondered whether we would get all those treats if we had a bigger party...so maybe we'll have to try it next time. and andrew elevated wait service to a different level as he handed us his card when we were finished and let us know that we could ask to be served by him and then we'd get vip service the next time we were there. will do andrew...you really made us feel special and well fed on our first anniversary!!! thanks!!


of course, the might did not stop there. having been so spoiled with wonderful desserts...we topped off our night with delicious McDonald's hot fudge sundae and vanilla shake. hey...we're equal opportunity dessert eaters!!! and i remember when sundaes were only 39cents.

mmm...i love food.
what a wonderful weekend we had. here's looking to our 2nd year!!!

revelation for me...

so i have been having a dilemma with my job hunting...but i seem to be coming out of the woods. or at least there's light ahead. or at least light...may be a train heading my way. anyhow...i've been toying with the idea of an industry change. no more litigation for me. considering transitioning to corporate law. problem is...i have no corporate experience...can't really go back to school for that...and no one will give me a job in it since i have no experience. what a catch 22. anyhow...for the past year i've been one foot in just staying in litigation...and one foot in considering the change. so i haven't been able to move. just recently...i have become more comfortable in committing to the transition...so hence...the light up ahead. but still...i'm not 100% committed and i'm beginning to see what my problem is.

i think it's because i've never really had to really try hard or suffer for anything. not to say that everything has been easy or i've gotten all that's i've wanted. but i think that my nature is such that i'm pretty easygoing and whatever happens happens. i've always been ok with whatever and accepting of things that do or don't work out. but honestly...i've never had to really work 100% hard or give all of me to achieve something or head some direction. except when it came to my relationship with vince. that, hands down...was the hardest, most effortful, and most reflective time in my life. but things like school, job, material things, time spent...they don't fall in that caliber of putting forth my best effort. i used to wonder what would be different if i actually studied harder in school because i know i could have, in high school, college, and law school. and so now i wonder...if i put in my best effort towards my livelihood...what could happen?

so now what... my revelation is that i've been good at going with the flow and sometimes putting my oars in the water to change my direction and sometimes row a few strokes. but then i think of when those trying to be navy seals have to row their boat past the break of the ocean waves or in all i've learned this year about making marriage work... you have to commit and you have to give it your all. none of this half ass-ness. so now...i'm still not 100% committed to my industry transition...because i'm scared and prideful. i'm scared of not knowing what might happen. i'm scared of failing. i'm scared it's the wrong direction. i'm too proud to go down in the ranks. i'm too proud to do something that seems less than what i was trained to do. but i know now...that i don't want to not even try because i might be scared. ok, putting it more grammatically correct: despite my fear...i have to try. i cannot let my fear paralyze me. because that would be worse than failing. and i know now that my pride can be a huge obstacle. my livelihood does not depend on my title or how other people view me. my livelihood is knowing that i'm doing something worthwhile and enjoyable. what that is...haha..i still don't know...but i don't want to be scared or too proud to get there.

saw this at the stanford mall today. very very cute. everyone who passed by could not help but stare and smile and want one of their own. the owner said it may have been a balance issue after an illness. but it just kept going round and round..even while going straight!!

i was totally thinking of my old friend Jenny who is the champion of all dogs small and cute. i know she'd want to adopt this one!

MMMM...filet mignon wrapped in prosciutto...

Yea! My birthday just passed!! It's funny how one second I feel old and think fondly of how i'm getting older. then the next second...i'm thinking that i'm young and there's still so much ahead left for me to do and see and experience and learn. i think i'll park myself in the second camp. i'd like to never feel like i'm old...even as i get older in years...

so recent thought was that i think it would be cool to never retire. i mean, don't get me wrong...not having a full time job can be great sometimes. but sometimes...it feels mighty boring and lame. but i was thinking recently that i hope, i am at age whatever...when the retirement age is close at hand..., at a job where i can do and enjoy and like doing until i physically or mentally cannot do it anymore. i know many people look forward to retirement and all...and that there are so many things that one can do when retired...but i'd hope that i can enjoy my life during these years as much as i think i might enjoy them after i might retire. why does this thought come when i'm transitioning ages...who knows. maybe i'll feel different later. but for now...that's where i'm at!

so for my birthday...it was awesome!! many birthday wishes...thanks for all of you who remembered!! really that's the best thing. just that people remember and wish me a happy birthday. the weekend was pretty fun. dinner with family...lunch with friends...then work (ok, that part was kind of sucky). but overall...very relaxing and a really great time with vince! we went to eat at a super extraordinary steakhouse called Forbes Mill Steakhouse in Los Gatos. i have to say...i'm not a wine connoisseur or a food savant...but it was the best food i had in ages...if not ever.
i had the best cabernet ever. not too tanin-y...smooth but not as thick or heavy as a merlot. it was from the winery 75 cellar from amber knolls...couldn't tell you what year or anything else specific...but i could drink that wine all day and night! i had ordered a different wine to start with and they gave me a half glass of the 75 cellar on the house just to try and taste.

though it was monday night and the place was somewhat empty...it was still the best dining experience i had ever had. they knew it was my birthday and so they put a little birthday wish on the daily special menu. now i have to say...that probably took an ounce of effort and a millisecond to print out...but it made a huge impact as it was super thoughtful and quite a nice touch. one of the owners, Dean, stopped by our table about 4-5 times during the night to make sure we were ok. and even when i called back to ask about the wine...he was nice and chatty and very friendly. the server we had, jeffrey, was super friendly and not too imposing or anything. attentive enough that we never wondered where he had gone too. even the busing people...they were super nice and always asked if we were ok...very high quality personnel over there.

i had the tournedos and scallops and it was awesome!!!!!
never tasted better. i can never cook scallops to taste the way they did that night. they were warm...and firm but then melted in my mouth!! and the filet...wow...after i finished the first one...i was amazed that i had yet another one to eat. i have to say...just the right amount of indulgence. and you can't go wrong with meat wrapped in meat. i have to say also...vince's huge porterhouse steak was quite mouthwatering too! my pieces were bit larger than the size of a golf ball slightly flattened (about 1.5 times the size of the large scallops)...vince's steak was huge!!!! look at it!!!


and then we got the dessert sampler!!!! yum!!! it was just the right amount of such great desserts!!! there was a lilikoi cheesecake... kona coffee creme brulee...some apple cobbler thing...and then a chocolate torte...MMMMM!!! again...just the right amount of indulgence.

the only down side of that experience...these two "little wanna-be kids" sitting near us. they may have been early twenties or something. they didn't seem like they were on a date (or at least if they were...someone wasn't into the other person) and we hard the guy complain that the ice tea was "a little to sour" so could they take it back and get him another one. well..be that as it may...i have great doubts that the ice tea would be sour...it's ice tea. ok...i'm getting on a tangent. maybe it was sour. maybe it was so sour he couldn't drink it.

anyhow...go there if you are ever up here. you won't regret it. and you can stroll around town before or after dinner. it's such a nice town. such a nice place to spend the afternoon/evening.

i also got my hair cut. it's way expensive to get my hair cut. i need to find a cheaper place!!! tried a new look. not too into it right now. so i'm just going for the wild uncontrollable hair tied back look for the time being.

here's to next year!! thanks to all of you my friends!!!

weekend o'fun

this weekend was awesome!! great weather! great time. it would be nice if every weekend could be like this.

friday night started off with a great time in the city with dinner with ben, nic and avery! it was so nice to see good friends and to see a new little friend again. though the night ended early, it was supremely wonderful to catch up and be together. so of course, on the way home...the inevitable question of "you wanna do something else?" came up. we ended up keeping it lowkey and heading over to our local borders for some enlightening. my form of enlightenment...harry potter and the half blood prince. yes...i'm a closet harry potter fan. no...i don't have my copy reserved yet. but i had forgotten what happened in book 6. it's been relax in some nice enjoyable reading.

saturday we slept in a bit and then went swimming! it was such a nice morning to go. water was cool...no one else in the pool! then headed to lunch at our favorite place, i'll call it...the College. they were grilling today so we had lunch outside. it was soo nice we pondered the thought of whether there was a difference in hanging out at a coffee shop or here at the College. and for us...we thought that hanging out at the College was just the same...if not better. You're not surrounded by strangers in close proximity who can hear every word you say. on nice days as it was on saturday...you can lounge outside in the patio...or if you had beach chairs...on the lawn. if the weather is not cooperating...there are lounges inside to relax in. and there is plenty of sustenance only a few steps away. pretty awesome. so vince and i chatted. relaxed...and just hung around. then later...just as conveniently...we went to go work out with our friends Kenny and Elle. we came home after...had some dinner...and relaxed in front of the tube.

sunday...church...which is always great. we found out that i didn't have to work that afternoon, so it was a brief jaunt around the mall...and then off to the College to the gym. before going to the gym however, we got on some bikes and rode around on the trail. i have to say...actually propelling yourself is much harder than sitting on an exercise bike. it was seriously cold with the with and all...but still...a nice ride. except for the one instance where i couldn't really get on the bike and start pedalling and was twisting and turning trying to avoid falling off...or veering towards the down slope into the creek, all the while vince laughing behind me. i have to say...it was funny...during and afterwards... hey...the bike was tall...my legs are short...and i hadn't been on a bike since 2000. that's my excuse. so then off to a stimulating work out on the machines and weights..and some basketball on the gym tv. pretty nice and relaxing...even it it was exercise. we left...picked up some items at trader joes...and then headed off for home. ending the weekend with a nice glass of wine...or two...or three...was super great.

and now it's monday. which isn't so bad...

so now that i've had some time to simmer and have gotten off the rollercoaster ride...i've learned a few things...

and isn't that worth it...that we can learn things from our situations and events....

1. i really want to work for and with good people.
2. i really don't care what it is that i do for my work subject (to some degree).
3. i'd rather work close to home (unless it's a dream job).

hmm...i guess that's it? haha. i seems that vince and i are going to settle somewhere in the southbay. we like the area. it's nice and suburby. no city-slicking for us. so unless there is a dream job in SF...which is what... i have no idea. but i like living around where we live. green. trees. not too crowded considering. donwtowns with nice streets of shops and restaurants and cafes we can hang in. and...when we want...we can head up to the city for some jam packed nightlife. but for the most part...a good ambiance...good friends...and perhaps a good bar is all we really need.

and as for job hunting i still need to learn that God has a plan for me...and i still need to be diligent in trying to find out what that plan is...and ultimately...He will bring me to the right place for me. i don't have to worry. i don't have to despair. i need not be desperate.

Let me off this roller coaster please!

For the past week, I feel like I've been on a roller coaster that I don't want to be on. It started out like all roller coasters. The anticipation...the incline...the thrill...then the twists and turns and even slight nausea...then seeing that the end of the ride is near. And instead of the slowing to a stop so I can get off...it jolts to a sudden stop...as if broken down...and leaves me strapped in awaiting not to step off...but to endure yet another ride.

This all stemmed from a job interview that I thought went pretty well. Well enough that it resulted in an offer. Encouraged to take as much time as I needed to contemplate my options and the offer, I was set to wrestle with the various pros and cons and impact of the specific offer. Was it what I wanted to do? Was it a good place? Was the commute doable? Did this position bring me closer to where I wanted to be career-wise? 6 days after the interview I was inclined to accept the position despite the few lingering cons. I was ready to contact said offeror only to wake up to an email saying, to the effect "you said you only would need 3 business days to consider, since you didn't get back to us I presume you got another job and so I gave an offer to someone else. thank you and good luck."

much to my surprise...the bird in the hand flew away. honestly, even though it was not the perfect job...I was crushed. I felt disappointed. I felt disappointing. I felt really really sad. I cried. I felt lame like I was stupid in the way I handled it. But I was certain of the conversation that transpired during the interview that resulted in my thinking that I had time to consider and that I had not promised to get back to them in 3 business days. so i responded back saying there must have been a misunderstanding because i thought i said something else and that if they offered the position to someone else, then that's the way it goes.

of course there are so many thoughts racing through my head. was that a ploy to make me accept? what did i say? did i lose out on a great opportunity? after sometime...i recognized that "me being perfect for the position" did not mean squat. otherwise they would have checked in with me and not given the job to someone else. to me...one week of consideration is not an unreasonable amount of time. it wasn't even a week. not that I'm trying to be petty. but if they told me to take as much time and to explore all my options and they really thought i was valuable...then they would have waited a week before giving the job away or at least checked in...as i was intending to check in. and then of course i thought "i don't want to work for someone who tells me I'm prefect and such a great fit only to know that their actions don't reflect that statement." i felt stupid for giving them so much consideration when they did not return the same.

all in all, it was a learning experience and it was sour but i know better than to let it influence me negatively. I love knowing that I was not meant to be there. I was that close to committing myself and my life and time to that place. and the only thing that would have stopped me was not something i would decide for myself. so it was decided for me. Despite having bouts of feeling sad and disappointed and lame, i revel in the knowledge that God protected me from getting into a situation that wasn't right for me. I could not see it. I did not see it. I may have sensed something. But ultimately, I would have overlooked that sense.
and as i continually operate in a fashion that reflects not knowing what God has in store for me...
i know that He is watching out for me and has something planned for me.

but it's hard being in this place...

As it was freezing here only 2 months ago...

It was a whopping 78 degrees today! break out the summer clothes!! of course, all I really have are summer clothes...being from LA and all. I find my range or clothes here to be quite deficient in utility. I must conform to the philosphy of layering! Once I can start buying clothes that is.

i LOVE daylight savings!!! now does changing the law to have daylight savings a few weeks early and end a few weeks later really save energy? i suppose i'll have to read the article.

Jesus & your Job

What a perfect message for me! This past Sunday it was great to hear Nancy talk about working. She made it a point to say that it wasn't a talk about all things related to your job and Jesus. But her main point was how your job is a gift from God. That we often look at the negative aspects of working. How it distracts from the more valued things in life. How it's not what we really want to be doing. How people at and our workplace is a grind. So this Sunday I got to ponder the aspect of our work and our job and our workplace as being a gift. Of course, I'm not working right now so it was all a bit theoretical for me at this point. But it helped me gain perspective while I'm looking for the 'perfect' job.

So two main things Nancy emphasized. That we are called and designed to 1) do meaningful work and 2) have relationships. Meaningful work. It was nice to hear about the nobility of serving. It doesn't matter what position we have whether it's at the top or the bottom or the middle. We can all serve the company and the people around us in some capacity. And in the end, we have an audience of one. Relationships. It more than just building them for the benefit of the work or the company. It's because we are there to really know people and to exhibit love. Nancy shared how there was an ER doctor she had worked with who knew many details of the life of the man who worked in the janitorial services who would come in after medical care was rendered to clean up the room.

Service in what I do. I think that statement is much more broad than I had previously interpreted. There are so many ways to serve. It's not only the specifics of our job. But in more subtle ways. And when we work...we don't just do it for that raise or the next promotion. Or to impress our co-workers. But we do it because we were designed to our best regardless of what it is we're doing. I thought about that as I am working in retail. Not that I ever thought I was above it. But I certainly didn't place great value on what I was doing. I was not putting any heart into the work. I never wanted to be there. I always wanted to leave. Sure, I would do good work while I was there, but not with a good attitude. I did good work because it was easy or even brainless to me. But I should be doing my best while I'm there because that is what I am called to do. And that my effort reflects my character. And my character should be constant...not come out at certain times. I am created to do meaningful work. And I can do meaningful work no matter what it is I do.

I was reminded the other day how it is so great just to be known. In my quest for finding a job, I stumbled upon an old law school friend of mine. The name was familiar. Since lots of websites have pictures of their employees, I got to put a face with the name and confirmed that indeed, here was an old law school friend. Granted, we didn't hang out at the bars and we didn't study together...but we worked together for a little bit and I surely remembered him. So I emailed the standard..."hope you remember me" email. And to my great joy...he said he did remember me. Of course, I would not have been surprised had he not remembered me because we weren't drinking buddies or anything. But certainly, I have to tell you that it really really brightened my day just to know that he remembered me. And it reminded me how much value there is to just being known. Like the doctor in Nancy's past, there is no different value placed on a person simply because of their position or their function. People come into our lives everyday and we gloss over them as if they didn't matter. Not to say that we must delve into the personal aspects of every one's lives. But there is so much to communicate that goes beyond words when we simply and sincerely get to know those who work around and among us. And we spend so much of our lives at work, around the same group of people day in and day out. Do we take the time out to know who is around us. I confess I'm not good at that. I have a flawed memory so much so that I know I have to write things down or I forget. But I want to be sincere and proactive about knowing people around me. I won't force it. But I definitely want to be better at getting to know people around me.

I hope to find meaningful work. I hope to find meaning in and at my work. And I hope to invest in those people around me so that I can get to know them beyond "Hi, how are you" because I know that I want to be known more that that.

It's sunny!! let the good times roll!

So the rain has stayed away for a few days and the weekend is upon us!!! I've been itching to play tennis. Don't know why. I'm not a super star tennis player. I only took lessons in the 1st grade. And I have proven time and time again that I cannot cover the whole court. (that's why I love paddle tennis). But it is one of those activities that you don't need a lot to do. A tennis racket. Some tennis balls. A tennis court. And someone to play with. And sadly, I'm probably more adept at tennis than I am at basketball or volleyball. Can't do a simple layup or even dribble with any skill. Can't set or spike the ball. But with tennis...I CAN hit the ball over the net within the boundaries!! Okay, not always. I know, I can't serve very well, but hey, it's just a friendly game of tennis. So it could be that tomorrow is the first day of my tennis hobby. I'm not sick. It's not raining. Awesome! Here's hoping.

What do I Treasure?

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Looking for a job has not been a bowl of cherries. This transition in my life has not been anything like I expected. Getting married. Moving to a new area. Looking for a new job. Trying to plan for the future. Trying to lay the ground work for that future. And you know how I like to have control...and how I like to know what's going to happen. I want to be a good wife. I want to find a good job. I want to make a difference. And maybe someday...I want to be a good mom. But sometimes that is so overwhelming to me. How to orchestrate all of that so that all those things happen. How can I ensure that that happens. Surely God would want that for me. That is what I treasure. I treasure being stable and secure. I treasure being successful (not necessarily wildly successful). I treasure my life and my things and my status here in this world. In the very immediate...I would really treasure getting a job.

Of course, it's not wrong to want those things. Sure maybe it coincides with God's plan for me. But I can't fool myself...and for sure not fool God. I really want that for me. My heart gets consumed with all those things. And because of my human condition, my heart stops at the things that I treasure.

I want a good job. But I want it so that I can be stable and make money and build towards a future. I didn't want a good job so that maybe I could be more useful to God. I want to be a good wife so that I can build a good family so I could be happy and boast about how good a wife I turned out to be. I didn't want to go through hard times to perhaps touch someone else's life. I didn't want to be good wife with a good family so that I could boast about how God has helped me and has transformed me. Those things, stability, financial success, great family, are all wonderful things...but I don't think they should be where it all ends. There has to be more. God has more in store than just building my life here in this world.

This week I was reminded of one of my most cherished songs. It's called "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" by Stuart Townend. There's a version sung by Joy Williams who has a very very beautiful voice. The song very movingly describes how much He loves me. That He treasures me. Even when I least deserved it. Even though I treasure other things.

So will it be easy to treasure what God did for me? Can I treasure what He will do through me? Will I simply treasure God and who He is regardless of how my life turns out? Or will I continue to treasure things like my job (or future job) or my financial stability or my reputation. I don't think that it will be easy to shift my perspective. I don't really even know how I would do it. I will try to move my heart away from treasuring the things I want and think are good. I want to treasure the things that matter to God. Loving Him. Loving people. I'm sure it will be easier to do when times are better. The bigger challenge will be to do so when things are not good or not smooth. When I'm anxious about my future. Or scared about what will happen. I know it will take a lot of awareness and real honesty. And hopefully reminders when I get going down the oh-so familiar track.

Where my treasures are...there my heart will be. I want my heart to be with God...so I will do my best to make Him my treasure.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!

We love you!

I feel human again!!

I went for my sleep study last night. Here's what happened...

Took one hour for them to hook up all the electrodes and probes. (judyc: thanks for the pjs!). They tapes most to my body: stomach, collarbone, legs. Then glued several onto my head after first marking my head up with this red crayon pencil that you can find in any high school yearbook rooms. Fun times. Was a little tentative going to the bathroom. Didn't want the little hook up box falling into the toilet. One overnight session later...and 15 minutes of de-electroding and de-probing, I was on my way home at 8am! Straight into the shower and shampooing my hair twice, I still have some flaky remnants of glue...but for the most part...I'm human again!!!! We'll see what happens with the results.

The high light of the event...access to TV!!! alright. no oscars for me. Nope, I'll watch simpsons and family guy for sure!! double episodes of both too.. AWESOME!

the low light of the event...besides the smelly head glue and gazillion wires...the hour if took to put all the electrodes in place was right during the hour double episode of Family Guy! Doh! Couldn't watch the much anticipated show during the time the tech was there applying everything. Well. we had good conversation...

I'm sick again.

This makes four times being sick since moving up to the Bay Area. Four times in 7 months. What is up!?!? It's not like I am exposed to many many people who have germs. Maybe I'm just incubating the germs all by myself. Anyway...I'm grateful that it's not the weird bacterial infection requiring antibiotics kind of sick. Just a cold. And I think it's under control. Still...four times in 7 months!!!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, VINCE!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!