the F-word

in our discovery of the wonderful programming on justin.tv, we have been sucked into a new (for us) Gordon Ramsey show called "the F-word." This appears to be one of his early shows. The show's premise....open a restaurant that served 50 ppl a set 3 course menu and invite a brigade (3-4) amateur cooking enthusiasts to work the kitchen to serve the ppl. The ppl, depending on whether they liked the food/service can opt to pay or not pay for each course. I believe at the end, the brigade with the highest number of ppl out of 150 that paid (3 x 50 dishes) get to come back...and do what, i don't know.

What makes the show more interesting is that other things are weaved into the program. Gordon will have a recipe show down with a friend or other chef where that guest makes their favorite/signature dish and Gordon makes his version and then there is a blind taste test and those 5 ppl choose which one they like better. Then there is also Gordon's reaching out to Londoners to help them get back into cooking and eating well (and fast too). Then there is also a thread of something he is doing usually with his family involved. The ones season we just saw involved his family raising pigs...for slaughter of course. By the way, he has a beautiful family!

Gordon does have a mouth on him, as does most of his friends...but for some reason, it sounds really nice with an European accent (British, Scottish, Welsh, Irish, French). Somehow the accent makes all the words sounds proper. It's pretty funny.

Anyhow, good show, lots of interesting recipes that I hope to get to try someday. How much to i like the show... :) last night..i was dreaming and ppl were all speaking with British accents. :) haha. no cussing though. I suppose i have the subconscious censor on in my brain.

Thanks Gordon for loads of fun and entertainment!!!

Flat Shoes Debut

So today is the first day i have broken out the flat shoes. :) I have not worn flat shoes in a long time...mainly because flat shoes don't suit my body type. Though they sure seem to be more comfortable than my normal 3.5-4inch heels. But alas...for the next few months...or longer, i will have to adapt to the flat shoe style.

So I bought my shoes from zappos where i love their return policy and i wore them around the house a few nights to make sure they were comfortable and fit and i liked them. and they were comfortable. And then today! the flat shoe debut at work.

I had high hopes...but to my dismay...blsiters. :( and seeing as how I am normally sitting in front of the computer only really leaving to chat and go to the copy maching and the bathroom...i am so sad that my heels hurt. :( to the point where i put bandaids on my heels...but now wnat to just go barefoot because the are so not comfy anymore. sniff sniff..i will have to bandage my entire foot. and then the shoes won't fit.

I should also qualify today to say that i did walk around more so than the usual routes. I went to the copy center twice...then out to lunch. So sory feet and shoes! it may have been my too high expectations for these wonderful shoes.

i am hopeful thought that the first day is the hardest day and that my feet will grow accustom to the sensation and that the shoes will soften up a bit. :( because I do like them...even though they make me feel really short and I had to lower my chairsso my feets would reach the floor and I can be ergonmically correct (to be continued on a future posting).

wishing myself well for the hopes of conquering the flat shoe pain!

is any one still out there? I have been away for a long time. part due to laziness. part due to feeling like i have nothing interesting to write about. but i am considering resuming a more regular writing attitude so hopefully you all are still out there. :) stay tuned...

fyi...i just discovered how great justin.tv can be so this will be an uphill battle.

EUREKA! TV watching revelation

A little background before my Eureka! moment.

So V just broke the news that many shows are being canceled. I have no details other than some of the shows I watch are on the ax list. :(

Or most of you who don't know, V and me have been without cable or satellite tv now for about 2.5 years. fear not! thank God for the internet! we've been getting our tv fix from free online shows! yea!! so i've been able to keep up with some things...and long to be able to watch others.

In thinking about my tv watching habits, I've come to learn that...EUREKA! i like shows that come to some sort of conclusion at the end of an episode. Don't get me wrong...I do appreciate the series arches and being sucked into shows as a devoted watcher...but I think I get the most out of shows that conclude after the 45 minutes or so airtime. A perfect example...Law and Order (full episodes not available online - what's up with that?!?). You do get invested in the characters..which I like to do...but I can be confident that the crime, investigation, trial and verdict are all wrapped up neatly in the one episode. I do also appreciate the occasional cliff hanger to be continued next time and the thems that run over the whole season...but for me...the more drawn out it is...the less i will like the show.

Take Lost for example. Great character investing...exciting...heart-wrenching...but after so many years...I an waiting for some sort of conclusion. At least (don't read this sentence if you haven't watched last season!!) at the end of last season some of them were rescued. Voila! some sort of closure.

The current mystery of my tv watching practice. The Hills. WHY DO I WATCH THAT SHOW???!?!?!! NOTHING ever happens! i wast 20 minutes every week watching...when NOTHING EVER HAPPENS!!! what is wrong with me.

Anyhow...I best be getting back to work...but I wanted to share my Eureka! moment:

• Thumbs up for shows that have some kind of closure at the end of the episode for satisfaction sake...but still allow for character development and series themes.
  

• Thumbs down for shows that drrrraaaaaaaaaggg.

i heart tv.

Top 10 List

Things you should look for so that you'll know it's time for me to call it a night
(in order of how much time I have left before it's all over)

10) I start talking a lot
9) I start laughing a lot
8) I start to stare at you when you talk to me
7) Someone says "I bet you can't drink that"
6) I say "I bet you can't drink that"
5) I say "I bet I can drink mine faster than you can drink yours"
4) I order a blue colored drink
3) I tell everyone I love them
2) I order a Greyhound
1) I haven't been seen for 15 minutes after I say I'm going to the bathroom

Note: it's really a steep downhill at #7

How do we work???

Um...how are we supposed to get our work done when we have meetings scheduled from 8am-5pm with only a 45 minute lunch break?

*sigh* what have I gotten myself into? At least I don't have to bill. And have internet access at home. What did we do before internet access? crazy.

AT&T did not make me "...a VERY SATISIFIED customer."

We tried to order cable TV and we ordered online expecting a charge for the monthly cable service, the monthly receiver fee, and then one time installation fee. Lo and behold! When the confirmation of the order came, there was also a monthly service and maintenance fee of $4. ok. i know that's not a lot of money and in the grand scheme or a year service will only amount to $48 or so... but it's the principle.

I called to ask them to waive the charge b/c it was not disclosed when I ordered it even though it appears on my order confirmation. I tried to explain to them that the confirmation did not accurately confirm what I ordered and that because they did not disclose the charge when I ordered, they should waive the charge.

After speaking to the customer service rep and then the escalation manager, they told me the best they could do for me is to credit me one month. My last ditched effort was to get on the phone with the manager and have her tell me that there was nothing she could do (now seemingly not even the lame one month credit). She could not readjust any charges in anyway and had the gall of challenging me that if I had known about the charge then would I have not ordered. I had to respond that it would have been considered, yet wasn't b/c I didn't know about it and that $48 to me was likely way more important than $48 to her company. She then added insult to injury by saying that they were now going to make sure the charge appears on their order form and pseudo-thanked me for bringing it to her attention so that future customers would not be misled.

we canceled the order. AT&T sux. So does manager Caroline Behemer. Or something like that.

Return of the Blogging

After posting my tyraid re Gmail and quickly de-posting the entry after realizing on the morning of April 1 that I was a proven a fool...I return to blogging. and even despite my efforts to quickly hide my shame and humiliation...nevertheless, some of you saw the posting and I had no choice but to fess up and hang my head low. but in my defense, the posting was March 31...so technically for me it was not April Fool's Day yet.

Stupid jokes.

So I return with the question of... should I feel weird going to a birthday party for a 23yrd old turning 24 at a bar/club?? hmm...i don't feel like it's weird. but should people find out or figure out how old I am...will I become one of those..."over 30 year old losers that still go to the clubs" What comes around goes around...I should have been wiser when those thoughts ran through my head when I was but a young 23 year old. There's nothing wrong with someone in their 30s still going to the clubs!!!!

*sigh* the last time I went to a club with this type of crowd...i remember thinking..."i can't stop dancing and sit down! I have to dance the whole night or i'll look old!" haha. my shoes didn't help. they were cute as heck but of no help with the endurance dance-a-thon.

I miss the dancing in the dark USA days. ;P

I'll fool them all yet!!! watch out you youngsters! make way on the dance floor!

Readership

YEA! Thanks both of you for reading my blog!! You know who you are. :) You have increased my readers almost 100%...for a grand total of FIVE readers!! (and that's not including me reading my own blog b/c counting me would be just sad)

Thanks to all you long time readers and first timers!

Spaghetti Arms

So I survived my 2nd (first official) personal training session. whew!

I was dreading the PT session until the moment I arrived at the gym. Then I was determined. Determined not to look like an idiot. But after about 10 minutes...I just wanted to get through the hour session.

I do have to say that time does fly. Some of the workout was doable, not too taxing. Just had to figure out the right body position and movement. Then, some of them were the worst things ever. What were they...not surprisingly...push ups. OMG. My mind is so weak that I can only do one. My trainer made me do 7. OMG. I thought after 1, that would be it. Then she kept making me do them. Then I'm sure she saw my whole body once again start to shake. So she said "just 5 more"

Are you kidding me??? Man, my only thoughts were that my arms and chest totally hurt, i can't push back up, and i definitely don't want to smash my face down on the mat. I mean, it's hard enough to push yourself up and down. It's even hard to try to not shake all sorts of directions and still push yourself up and down. OMG. I thought that was the end of me.

But alas...I survived. hurray. a small low voice hurray.

and then surprisingly...two of the cool down stretches were quite taxing. i remember talking to the trainer about life and work and stuff while doing these stretches. And every time I would want to kick myself b/c I wanted her to say "ok switch" but then we kept talking about stuff and I thought my legs would fall off my body.

even in all my complaining...I have to say I'm quite surprised about my attitude for this. I don't like it. But I do like the learning portion of it. I know. weird. It's funny how I totally compensate for proper movement and alignment of my body. man. go your whole life compensating for proper movement.

Today...it hurt to put on a jacket. I hope my spaghetti arms go away by Saturday.

The Shakes

So...I had my first personal training session today. Gone are my hopes for rock hard abs and a solid butt. Gone for now at least. My primary goal is strength training and conditioning. That concept applied to me equals: let's start using the the muscles in my body that I have but have never used.

:P

First off...I do really like my trainer. She is solid!! She's no Joyce...but she is solid. Fun too. ANd also knows how to crack the whip. She'd call me out when I was being half assed..and it was our first session. oh...goodie! i can't wait to hear what she will say when we're well into our training. But really, I do like that she doesn't let me get away with being half assed.

So back to using muscles that I've never really used before.. It is totally funny! and quite embarrassing and seriously makes me want to get better to avoid shame. I was doing this exercise...totally basic...and yet...I was shaking like I've never shaken before. All I had to do was sit on one of those balls...sit up straight, and then with my back straight and abs tight, lean back. While leaning back...all I had to do was rotate my at my waist so that my lower body didn't move and my upper body faced side to side. I did about two...and then my whole upper body was shaking almost uncontrollably!! I did the next 8 shaking all over the place trying not to roll off the ball. I was seriously in need to getting out of that position and then crawling under a rock. OMG. really. I was mortified that I was shaking so much. I wasn't even leaning back all that far. so lame. I felt like I was disappointing my trainer. She was real nice though. Telling me that I was doing a good job. I so want to believe her.

So until my next session...I'm going to try to work on getting stronger so I'm not a total moron. *sigh*. I never knew I had that many unused muscles before. I guess I'm pretty good at compensating.


This by far is not the only part of my body have have to work on. There are squats and balance too. *sigh* what did I get myself into? why is my body so complicated? *sigh* I can only hold on to the fact that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. Even if I can't control certain muscles when I want to....yet. :)

How much is too much?

How much is too much to spend on shoes?? What if you really really love them?

*sigh* i love to buy shoes. but i don't buy that many. so maybe i can spend more? ok...it's just rationalizing spending an inappropriate amount. but i can say that i got them on sale. :) i can't wait to wear them. i need an occasion!!! or i guess i can wear them to work. but they aren't menat to be work shoes. i have those too. :)

I aw Gyra again. she has her belly button pierced. don't ask me how i know this. i was thinking that maybe her way of elliptical-ing is natural. i was even going to test it out. but then i saved myself from my own stupidity as i concluded that her way was not natural based on observing every other person not elliptical-ing that way.

My first personal training session is tomorrow. i'm kinda nervous and my body is already sore. i'm pretty weak minded. wish me luck!!

New Secret Non-Friend.

So...I think my three best friends at work are no longer my friends. well...one...arrowhead was let go. IT guy, the project was nixed so he doesn't come around anymore. Facilities guy...he shows up sometimes, but not as often. hmmm...maybe the novelty of me has worn off.

So I am making a new secret non-friend. but this time...at the gym!! oh yeh. I joined a gym and i think i'm going to join the many masses who will take a shot with a personal trainer. anyhow, before i get to that...i'll tell you about my new secret friend.

She's a secret non-friend b/c she doesn't know she's my non-friend. she's a non-friend b/c i'm kinda too scared to make her a real friend. i spotted her at the gym the other day. She was on an elliptical. the elliptical was one of those that have handles. not the moving handles. anyhow...as i was running on the treadmill....she was elliptical-ing in front of me.

First thing I noticed...she had one of those lower back tattoos. that's cool enough. don't remember what it was. didn't look that closely. I'm sure it was cool. Second thing I noticed. coin slot. yep. you read it right. I kept thinking...isn't that kinda drafty?? don't you realize your crack is showing. but then...that wasn't even the last thing about her. the weirdest part...was the way she was elliptical-ing!! it wasn't a normal natural way of elliptical-ing. Strange. There was something strange about her movement. It was like a gyrating motion. she seemed to swing her pelvis out and around with every stride she took. I kept thinking...is that normal? maybe that's what happens when you elliptical?? but then my sanity came back. I've been on an elliptical. There's NO WAY that your pelvis needs to move like that. and plus...no one else in the gym who uses that same machine moves their pelvis like that.

gross. this is why she is my secret non-friend. her name is Gyra. I saw Gyra yesterday at the gym too. Sans crack but full gyration.

So just to let you know...I've found myself a personal trainer at the gym. I'm thinking...10 sessions. 5 weeks. who know what might happen!! I'll keep you updated! hopefully my fingers won't be too sore to type.

Lame Quote #1 by me

while watching season 4 of 24:

me: "Why is Jack Bauer running with a board?"
hubby: "That's not a board, it's a rifle case."

me: "...(pause)...oh."

Oh Man.

Sorry. Has it been that long? wow. it's almost like nothing has been happening in my life to warrant updating the blog. but i suppose I can always find something to ramble on about.

since my life is a lot work i guess i can give an update about that. let's see....arrowhead is gone. i think i said that already. i tried calling his cell phone. but i think it was the company cell phone. sure, there are other ways to get in touch with him in this digital age. but now.....too much time has passed. sad. i'm not so good with the personal skills in the workplace.

i sometime worry about job security. but today...i think i have a fair basis to believe that there will be enough work to go around for me. if i know how to do it. one of my colleagues i having a baby!! yeah!! well...lots of my colleague are. but this one in particular is in my same group. so if i can learn what she does, then perhaps i can cover for her while she is gone. hmm...let's see...learn what i'm supposed to be doing AND what someone else has been doing. looks like i need to turn the dial to 11. it's kind of exhilarating to think ahead for the next year and to want to push myself to doing more, learning faster and tackling the bull by its horns!! yee-haw!!!

but then it's also nice to think about vacationing in hawaii.

hmm..my life is sort of boring. and i think we have to move. to me it's just wrong to know that we now have to pay $300 more to live in the same apartment. *sigh* time to pack up!

Business in the front...

So it dawned on me (even though vince says it to me all the time) that I tend not to think beyond what is in front of me. What?! I know. How can that be?! But I have finally admitted that I do not think about the business of working in a corporation. The politics...the strategy...the planning. All the stuff that goes on all the time, other than the day to day job you are doing. I mean, people are posturing, setting up, being all tricky. And there I am la-di-da-di-da-ing in my little cube. I pay far too much attention to my actual job than to working. Strange I know. I wish I was a just out of college person. Give me a dose of real life experience please.

So...from now on, there will be a little bit of the "business in the front" thought going on. planning for my career path. Reading between the lines. And of course, keeping up with the day to day. *sigh* working is now harder.

Happy post Thanksgiving!

Spent Thanksgiving in Vegas with the parentals (Lin) and brother Greg. Interesting. My first holiday in Vegas. We arrive Tuesday night and planned to leave Friday so as to avoid the super expensive hotel pricing.

Fun times. Vegas was super empty when we arrived. Seemed quite surreal. And I actually liked it! not crowds. No lines. awesome!! but yes...not as much energy.

Didn't do much. i have to admit that my "vegas vacationing" style has altered from my youth. Gone are the times of hotel/club hopping, loose gambling and late night into early morning drinking (wait! did those times ever happen?). Sign me up for the one stop shop. nice hotel, gambling/spa downstairs, great club and shopping inside. we spent a lot of time walking around to our destination and not as much time at the destination.

We went to visit the Wynn hotel. The buffet was really great! great tasting. good times for thanskgiving dinner. but other than that, the hotel was a bit of a mystery for me. Sure it was new and nice...but i had trouble figuring out the overall theme of the hotel. I'd definitely go there to eat...but my hotel of choice is still Bellagio. oh...the wonderful soothing fountain show. and the beautiful conservatory and gallery. Oh.. and you can't beat the celebrity (poker) sightings. Gus Hansen sure seems taller on tv. Johnny Chan...looks exactly the same in person and on tv.

it's good to be home.

bah bah baaaaahhhhhh!

after sometime now...Arrowhead is gone.

:(

it was actually sad. He is no longer working with me. I thought things were getting better. But apparently I was incorrect. I hadn't had much interaction with him since my last post. but it was seemingly just because there was just no project to work on together. But I guess I was wrong.

So it's sad because I thought there was more I could do. Or at least more effort that I could have tried. Maybe I could have talked to him more directly. Maybe I could have been more compassionate. Either way, the saga is over. I know now (thanks to Vince!) that there could have been more that I could have said or done. Now that there is no more time to do anything. I do wish Arrowhead well. Really. I do.

Arrowhead update:

So...after my talk with Arrowhead. I was pretty optimistic. and then i got a message saying people in his group were seeing improvement. so i was even more optimistic!!

*sigh* alas...i fear that i am wrong yet again.

thought i told him, in no uncertain terms: "I need you to do _____." "I have been expecting ____ from you, is that not correct? Should I not be expecting ____ from you?" (please forgive the blanks. I'm trying to maintain some respect for Arrowhead)

Lo and behold...not so much than 2 weeks passes that Arrowhead is back to his same old pattern. He asks me to do ____. He asks my colleagues to do _____. i don't get it! does he not want to do it because he doesn't know how? if so, then say so and then we can help or go from there. everything seems to point to he does not choose to do ____. whether it is b/c he doesn't know how or doesn't want to, he just chooses not to. *sigh* what are going to do with him??

my colleague met him. and i try not to think it's my influence, but she thinking he's creepy. i don't think he's creepy. i just think he's a bit odd.

anyhow, i haven't seen improvement. i haven't seen anything. so if seeing nothing = improvement...then there it is!! ok. sorry. i just think that when people expect to see something of him, he just doesn't show anything so it looks like improvement b/c it's not anything else. i have come to the point where i have to actively jot down notes of our interactions and how I see his interactions so that I can think about whether there is improvement. *sigh* that was not a part of my job description.

one thing that bugged...we are working on this project and for the longest time it was the kind that "should be done as soon as possible." somehow, it turned into "should get done before the end of September." to that end, Arrowhead was calling all these meetings and making a big uproar about getting people together and getting things done. when it wasn't looking to be done by then, i thought, what happened in the last two weeks that brought to this "hair on fire situation" and so I Arrowhead why the end of September deadline as opposed to as soon as possible. of course, and this is what bugged...there was no reason for the end of September deadline. at least no reason that Arrowhead shared with me. so why the push on everyone including me, my colleagues, my managers, and other people's managers?

then later i learned that Arrowhead might be working on some sort of quota system.

i'm not liking the slick things that i learn about Arrowhead. he says one thing. but there's a whole story behind what he says that he doesn't let people know. tricky slicky.

ok! It's been too long since I've written. Lots and lots have happened.

my friends anne and john had baby #2!! yea!! congrats. I can't wait to see them and little new max.

vince got to go to NY for work. he does not heart NY. but i think that may be because it was work. i for sure heart NY!!! even though i haven't been there lately. seems like it will take a small fortune to go there are really enjoy the things of NY.

So while vince was in NY. i took an impromptu trip down to LA. fun! i seriously kept thinking "I will not drive down to LA like a madwoman. I am in no rush. I will not drive down to LA like a madwoman." well. didn't work. once i hit the 5 freeway...helllllooooo madwoman. i can't help it. so then on the way back up...I kept reminding myself: "I will not drive like a madwoman back to the Bay Area." of course. my wishful thinking never prevails. I think I must convince myself next time that i HAVE to be safer. and be nicer to my little car.

LA was fun! got to see my family: mom, dad, bro, sis-in-law, nephew, niece, and little nephew. I hadn't seen little nephew in a while. cute as a baby could be. little smileys. apparently equipped with a death grip. my friend tina brought her little guy over and though he is about 1 month younger, got an early lesson of older bullies. somehow mason (my little nephew) and bryson (tina's son) got to holding hands. and then a few second later, brsyon starts crying! nothing changed. no one changed positions. mason was just holding his hand. with his death grip. sorry bryson!!!

fun part was watching a gazillion little kids play soccer. soo funny. some little kids were actually pretty skillful. but for the most part. it was a group of 8 little boys trying to kick the ball in a certain direction.

other things...hmmm...to recap...dinner with friends, wedding and work. doesn't seem like a lot. but it somehow jam packed our last two weekends! this weekend...shopping! no luck. and relaxing. lots of luck.

tune in next week as vince and i meet up and spend the day with our very own personal shopper!! should i be scared that i told her I'm looking for a new wardrobe and i'm pretty open? yikes. maybe just my wallet should be scared!